The One With Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Allow me one more post while I dwell on my high school reunion before I return to my favorite topic -- Muggsy. Trying to be polite, I have exchanged several e-mails with Julie (GILL) Richardson, as she will be forever known in my mind. (Since I don't plan to take my husband's last name, when I finally have one, I have decided to start capitalizing my own last name, effective immediately.) Anyway, in my effort to be kind, I responded to her e-mail about how happy she is to be married to her high school sweetheart and working as a stay-home mother by saying, "I'm so happy for you and Bill. I've changed so much since I was in high school. I can't imagine being with the same guy through all that, so I'm really happy for you that you've made it." She responded by saying, "It's interesting you should say that because I haven't changed. I'm the same ole me."
I'm sorry, but of course she is! She hasn't moved from the town she was born in. She has the same friends and even the same boyfriend. Nothing has opened her eyes to what other cultures or even areas of the country are like. Nothing has challenged her beliefs or made her see that there are other ways to think beside the close-minded, small-town attitude she has always had. Meanwhile, I have moved to new -- increasingly larger and more diverse -- cities, been forced to make all new friends and changed jobs. Those are the things that will challenge you and change you. If you just stay in your comfort zone your whole life, nothing will ever challenge you to open your eyes to other ways of thinking and you will be trapped in the same rut.
The funny thing about this is that you don't know there are other ways of thinking that might challenge you and you don't know you're stuck in a rut, so you never desire change. So Julie (GILL) Richardson will never know what she's missing. Maybe that's fine for her, but it's not fine for me. I know Julie, and I'm pretty sure she was being condescending in her comment. But I don't care because I'm thrilled with all my changes. I think everyone needs to change. I really, really advocate people leaving their comfort zone. No one should be content to live in the same area their whole lives, keeping their same friends and never searching for what else might be out there. Who cares if you find that you like what you had better? You can always go back. There are things about the Midwest that I really miss, and someday, I may move back there, but right now, California is the place for me.
In fact, one of the reasons I hestitated to date Ross many moons ago is because he was a Texan who had never left his comfort zone. He didn't know what it was like to leave his friends behind. He didn't know what was out in the rest of the world. I was afraid that, like most Texans, he would be so happy with what he had that he would never want to leave. I knew I couldn't stay in Texas forever and I didn't want to begin something that would end in a messy breakup. I was thrilled when during one of our conversations before we began dating he said that he was open to the possibility of leaving Texas and had even applied for jobs outside the state. This was one of the conversations that moved us from a friendship to a relationship.
There are so many ways of thinking and so much to learn if you open yourself up to it. Because Texas was so similar to Kansas, I have learned more about people and myself in the time I have spent in California than I learned in three years in Texas. And I'm really excited about that, even if I haven't liked everything I learned.
Anyway, speaking of changes, I have decided to make a change with Muggsy as well. Muggsy will be coming off his medication as soon as the behaviorist gets back to me on how to do that. He had another episode, though only an hour, this weekend, and I just can't shake the feeling that it has to do with the medication. I'm currently consulting with a nationally-renowned behaviorist to decide what course of action should be taken next since I don't like the doctor I have. But I will be taking him off Paxil to see if any of his old behaviors resume and especially if these new behaviors vanish. The goods just aren't outweighing the bads for me. Of course, if the new behavior stays and the old behaviors start getting worse, I'll have a new doctor to consult about resuming medication. I just have to make sure that I'm not making it worse. So that's the biggest change in my life right now. Maybe next week, I will have another to report.
-- Rachel GREEN
I'm sorry, but of course she is! She hasn't moved from the town she was born in. She has the same friends and even the same boyfriend. Nothing has opened her eyes to what other cultures or even areas of the country are like. Nothing has challenged her beliefs or made her see that there are other ways to think beside the close-minded, small-town attitude she has always had. Meanwhile, I have moved to new -- increasingly larger and more diverse -- cities, been forced to make all new friends and changed jobs. Those are the things that will challenge you and change you. If you just stay in your comfort zone your whole life, nothing will ever challenge you to open your eyes to other ways of thinking and you will be trapped in the same rut.
The funny thing about this is that you don't know there are other ways of thinking that might challenge you and you don't know you're stuck in a rut, so you never desire change. So Julie (GILL) Richardson will never know what she's missing. Maybe that's fine for her, but it's not fine for me. I know Julie, and I'm pretty sure she was being condescending in her comment. But I don't care because I'm thrilled with all my changes. I think everyone needs to change. I really, really advocate people leaving their comfort zone. No one should be content to live in the same area their whole lives, keeping their same friends and never searching for what else might be out there. Who cares if you find that you like what you had better? You can always go back. There are things about the Midwest that I really miss, and someday, I may move back there, but right now, California is the place for me.
In fact, one of the reasons I hestitated to date Ross many moons ago is because he was a Texan who had never left his comfort zone. He didn't know what it was like to leave his friends behind. He didn't know what was out in the rest of the world. I was afraid that, like most Texans, he would be so happy with what he had that he would never want to leave. I knew I couldn't stay in Texas forever and I didn't want to begin something that would end in a messy breakup. I was thrilled when during one of our conversations before we began dating he said that he was open to the possibility of leaving Texas and had even applied for jobs outside the state. This was one of the conversations that moved us from a friendship to a relationship.
There are so many ways of thinking and so much to learn if you open yourself up to it. Because Texas was so similar to Kansas, I have learned more about people and myself in the time I have spent in California than I learned in three years in Texas. And I'm really excited about that, even if I haven't liked everything I learned.
Anyway, speaking of changes, I have decided to make a change with Muggsy as well. Muggsy will be coming off his medication as soon as the behaviorist gets back to me on how to do that. He had another episode, though only an hour, this weekend, and I just can't shake the feeling that it has to do with the medication. I'm currently consulting with a nationally-renowned behaviorist to decide what course of action should be taken next since I don't like the doctor I have. But I will be taking him off Paxil to see if any of his old behaviors resume and especially if these new behaviors vanish. The goods just aren't outweighing the bads for me. Of course, if the new behavior stays and the old behaviors start getting worse, I'll have a new doctor to consult about resuming medication. I just have to make sure that I'm not making it worse. So that's the biggest change in my life right now. Maybe next week, I will have another to report.
-- Rachel GREEN
posted by Rachel at
6:52 PM
1 Comments:
This was a very interesting post. First of all, ever since I read it I've had that song stuck in my head. Secondly, it got me excited about where I want to go after KC. Sometimes we get stuck in a rut, or discouraged, about ever being able to leave. Our goal is to get out of here before David starts kindergarten b/c KCMO schools are so bad that I'll have to get him into private school, which probably means taking him out of the school he's in now, which I don't want to do b/c it's so great and he loves it. See, you have to get your kids in to the preschool program at the private school, so they'll have a better chance of getting in to the regular school. (By the way, I keep spelling school wrong ...)
Whew! That was a lot to spit out! Anyway, it's so good to see how much you are learning b/c it keeps me motivated to GET OUT OF THE MIDWEST!
By
Monica, at 12:09 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home