The One Where I've Gone Soft

"I blame you," one of my best friends, Mindy, told me on the phone this week. Now, this isn't unusual since she blames me for most of her poor life choices, particularly a party in college when she told me to keep her from hooking up with one guy while at the same time keeping the guy she wanted to hook up with from hooking up with another girl. While I was pulling the guy she wanted to kiss from the girl he liked, we found her in the back yard, making out with the guy she wanted me to keep her from hooking up with. Now how was I supposed to be two places at one time??? Don't know. But she still blames me.

However, this time I wasn't sure what she could possibly be blaming me for. She's having some trouble with a guy who I have never met who is really messing with her (one day he's hooking up with her, the next day he just wants to be friends, the next day he ignores her). So I asked, "How is this my fault."

"You've gone soft," she said. "In the past, you'd be all screw him, men suck, forget him. But now you're all, why don't you talk to him, tell him how you feel."

I couldn't believe it!! Yes, I've found one of the good ones. And I'm certainly very happy in my relationship and have rethought the notion that all men suck. But I'm not so soft that I don't realize how much dating sucks or that I don't know that MOST men still do suck.

But the more I thought about it the more I realized that she was right. I'm a lot more optimistic about relationships now and I'm not always finding men's motives to be evil, even though they usually are, because Ross' motives are always 100% genuine and kind. Mon reconfirmed it last night when before I even told her this story, she told me, "I think you've lost some of your edge." I guess that's the consensus.

I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I guess it depends on who you are. For Mindy, it's probably a bad thing that I can no longer commiserate with her about how terrible men are. I was probably a lot more fun when I was dating around and calling to talk about the guy(s) I was dating at the time. I've always found men and the games they try to play more funny than frustrating. But I've certainly been screwed over and I guess it's the bitterness that I'm now lacking. For me, though, despite the embarrassment of being considered soft, it's probably a good thing that I'm no longer bitter. I have someone wonderful and I don't have anything to complain about anymore. The only time I ever complain to Mindy, it's when Ross is being obnoxious during a Texas football game. And I'm sure that deep down inside, she's happy for me, even though she'd never say it.

Speaking of sweet, the last of my birthday present finished Friday night with an Eagles concert in Anaheim. Even though we were in the absolute last row, it was a great show. I always love a good, old-fashioned rock-and-roll show. They played for three hours and did a lot of their solo stuff, which is good because I love Don Henley almost as much as I love the Eagles. And it's always fun to people-watch, especially in Southern California. The most amusing thing to me was how no one seemed to have lighters to hold up during the slow songs. It was the perfect concert for that since the first hour of the concert was pretty mellow and they concluded the show with "Desparado," the ultimate lighter song. I guess it's because not as many people in Southern California smoke and have no need to carry lighters. But I discovered that there's another reason to carry a lighter to a concert when you live in LA. I watched a girl hold her lighter up so another girl could fix her makeup. I about died laughing. If it's too dark to see your makeup, who cares what it looks like? I guess I'll never quite get used to that way of thinking. :) But it was a great time, and I'm really glad I got to see them in concert.

Now, my Chronikah present will begin. Ross bought me tickets to the Lakers-Bulls, Lakers-Sonics, Clippers-Spurs and Clippers-Celtics game. Though I know I don't have to explain why these games, I will. Kirk Hinrich plays for the Bulls, Nick Collison plays for the Sonics, Paul Pierce and Raef LaFrentz play for the Celtics and the Spurs are my favorite team. These are all the teams I cheer for (you should hear Ross teasing me about how many teams I have) along with the Cavaliers (Drew Gooden), Heat (Wayne Simien), Knicks (Aaron Miles), Hawks (Jacque Vaughn) and Pacers (Scott Pollard). The last two players I didn't go to school with, so they're less important, but I now have tickets to see all of my favorite ex-Jayhawks. I can't wait!!

Can't you see why I'm not bitter? :)