The One With the Dad Video
Not quite as good as "The One With the Prom Video," only the greatest Friends episode ever, but I got my Christmas present with my dad this week. As always, his timing is impeccable. He caught me during a week when I've been pretty down about some things, and when I saw the video, I was sick to my stomach.
My dad is out of work right now and has spent the last six months or so fixing up my childhood home so he can sell it and move to Lawrence to be closer to my brother. (Hey, better him than me.) So he doesn't have any money. For Christmas, he made me a videotape. Though I cried the whole way through, it was actually pretty sweet.
He starts by saying hello to my whole family, which, of course, includes my boyfriend and three dogs. He even did the "hook em" finger thing (Mon, ask your dad if that has a name -- it just hit me, your dad is probably being insufferable, too ;) to try to bond with my boyfriend. It was kinda cute. Then, he read me 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.' I guess it's never too late to become a father. My dad has never read me a story in my entire life. His voice broke during the part where he says "and it shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly" and I cried for the next 20 minutes. I contend that crying is cathartic. :)
Anyway, he then showed some old photos of Christmas in our old home. There were pictures of our first home and pictures of the tree from the living room where the roof leaked and there were buckets everywhere. (I'm sure you remember that!!) In one of the pictures, I even look happy, standing in front of the tree in some red rain jacket that I was wearing in every picture that was taken when I was 9, I think. Then, he shows Christmas videos of Jimmy, Roy, Annie and Brandy. Some of it I didn't even remember. One video is my last Christmas at Kansas, when I had an internship and couldn't come home the Christmas before I graduated. One was when I must have been a junior in high school because I was all decked out in my Dallas Cowboys gear, my bangs weren't too out of control and my grandpa was in it. Ross commented that I looked mad at the world -- doesn't that characterize the first 18 years of my life... For most of the video, I'm holding a newspaper in front of my face so I couldn't be seen. Pretty silly. It was so cute to see Grandma, though. Grandpa didn't say anything, but Grandma had a comment for everything. It made me smile. I'm so much like her. I never really realized it. I also realized how hick we were. I never really knew it back then. Funny to go back in time and see what you used to be like. In the video with Jimmy, Roy and Annie from that same year, Mon and her little sister were there, her little sister with glasses and small, like I still think of her, and she made a joke with my mom. It was so cute. Next time, you come visit, Mon, you'll have to watch it.
Then, he plays eight Christmas songs, just showing the farm covered in snow. This part gets a little long.
Finally, he comes back on camera, reminds me what Christmas is really about and tells me that he misses me. The last scene is Troi in the front yard, running, looking pretty clean, and he, Troi and his two dogs tell me Merry Christmas and that they love me. There was crying.
All in all, it was a very sweet sentiment. Just the kind to make my depression a little bit worse. But I'm tired of feeling like this, so I took the day off work to just make myself get better. Tomorrow, I promise to feel much better because I'm going to start dog classes again and then get ready for another year of work. This is my last day of crummy 2005 holiday behavior. Tomorrow, I start my cheerful, ambitious 2006 behavior: getting up at 5:30 a.m. to run every day, no more calling in sick to work, working on training my own dogs on evenings that I don't have class, starting dog classes and writing classes at UCLA, starting agility class with Chubbs and finishing my therapy course so I can't get Chubbs trained and start doing charity work and whatever I come up with during the year to keep myself busy. :)
My dad is out of work right now and has spent the last six months or so fixing up my childhood home so he can sell it and move to Lawrence to be closer to my brother. (Hey, better him than me.) So he doesn't have any money. For Christmas, he made me a videotape. Though I cried the whole way through, it was actually pretty sweet.
He starts by saying hello to my whole family, which, of course, includes my boyfriend and three dogs. He even did the "hook em" finger thing (Mon, ask your dad if that has a name -- it just hit me, your dad is probably being insufferable, too ;) to try to bond with my boyfriend. It was kinda cute. Then, he read me 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.' I guess it's never too late to become a father. My dad has never read me a story in my entire life. His voice broke during the part where he says "and it shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly" and I cried for the next 20 minutes. I contend that crying is cathartic. :)
Anyway, he then showed some old photos of Christmas in our old home. There were pictures of our first home and pictures of the tree from the living room where the roof leaked and there were buckets everywhere. (I'm sure you remember that!!) In one of the pictures, I even look happy, standing in front of the tree in some red rain jacket that I was wearing in every picture that was taken when I was 9, I think. Then, he shows Christmas videos of Jimmy, Roy, Annie and Brandy. Some of it I didn't even remember. One video is my last Christmas at Kansas, when I had an internship and couldn't come home the Christmas before I graduated. One was when I must have been a junior in high school because I was all decked out in my Dallas Cowboys gear, my bangs weren't too out of control and my grandpa was in it. Ross commented that I looked mad at the world -- doesn't that characterize the first 18 years of my life... For most of the video, I'm holding a newspaper in front of my face so I couldn't be seen. Pretty silly. It was so cute to see Grandma, though. Grandpa didn't say anything, but Grandma had a comment for everything. It made me smile. I'm so much like her. I never really realized it. I also realized how hick we were. I never really knew it back then. Funny to go back in time and see what you used to be like. In the video with Jimmy, Roy and Annie from that same year, Mon and her little sister were there, her little sister with glasses and small, like I still think of her, and she made a joke with my mom. It was so cute. Next time, you come visit, Mon, you'll have to watch it.
Then, he plays eight Christmas songs, just showing the farm covered in snow. This part gets a little long.
Finally, he comes back on camera, reminds me what Christmas is really about and tells me that he misses me. The last scene is Troi in the front yard, running, looking pretty clean, and he, Troi and his two dogs tell me Merry Christmas and that they love me. There was crying.
All in all, it was a very sweet sentiment. Just the kind to make my depression a little bit worse. But I'm tired of feeling like this, so I took the day off work to just make myself get better. Tomorrow, I promise to feel much better because I'm going to start dog classes again and then get ready for another year of work. This is my last day of crummy 2005 holiday behavior. Tomorrow, I start my cheerful, ambitious 2006 behavior: getting up at 5:30 a.m. to run every day, no more calling in sick to work, working on training my own dogs on evenings that I don't have class, starting dog classes and writing classes at UCLA, starting agility class with Chubbs and finishing my therapy course so I can't get Chubbs trained and start doing charity work and whatever I come up with during the year to keep myself busy. :)
posted by Rachel at
11:33 AM
5 Comments:
That sounds really very sweet. Probably the nicest Christmas gift you could have gotten from him. But I would have bawled as well. Crying is definitely healing and when you stop being able to cry or be angry, I think you're repressing, which we all know is unhealthy. So let the crying continue ... not like you could stop a Weaver girl from crying. It's like trying to stop Chubbs from giving out lovin's!
I am so sorry that the holidays are depressing for you. I really hate that, and I'm sure all your friends wish we could do or say something that would make it all better. But sometimes friends just can't help, and sometimes there are things we need lots of time to heal from. Or maybe there are things that are too deep and we'll never heal. But that's ok. All of these moments and memories and scars are what makes Rachel (almost slipped up there) the woman we love. And I don't think anyone would change one thing about you. I know I wouldn't.
So here's to 2006, with all it's learning and dogs! It'll be so much fun.
By
Monica, at 1:50 PM
You are so lucky, Rachel, to have a best friend like Monica. What nice things to say. If I could go back and change Christmases past, I so would. But then none of us would be what or where we are today, and who can say that it would be any better. Anyway, Rachel, the holidays are over, the days are getting longer, here's to the new year! I love you both you girls.
By
Diana, at 5:02 PM
It just helps to know how much you all love and support me. I know how lucky I am to have you and Ross and Pheobe and so many others in my life.
It is the nicest gift I've gotten from him. He usually gives empty gifts that have no love behind them. This definitely wasn't one of those. It's almost nice that he doesn't have a job and has to think of a way to show me that he cares.
But when he does something like that it just makes the whole thing so confusing. He calls me only when he has an agenda, never to talk to me, like he doesn't even want to get to know his own daughter and then comes up with a really thoughtful gift. I wish he could just be a completely insensitive horrible guy that I could write off or a good dad that I could trust. But then I guess he wouldn't be him...
I don't mean to be so negative. It was a great gift, and I'm really grateful.
By
Rachel, at 5:06 PM
He is a Capricorn remember - the Twin Crab. He redefines the word duality. I've sometimes wondered if he wasn't bipolar.
By
Diana, at 10:07 AM
I didn't know you knew about signs and stuff... Funny. I'm a Leo, always the center of attention. :)
By
Rachel, at 8:09 PM
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