The One with the Corporate Bullshit
As you can see from the title, I've had the pleasure of being pulled into a purely "corporate America" project this week. Rather than lament my need to come up with some other way to support my shopping habbits, I thought I would begin a discussion of favorite bullshit lines your superior hands out like it's freakin' candy.
I'll start you off:
"I think this will be a great opportunity for you." really means "I don't have time to do this shit and I need you to cover me."
"This will give you exposure to some key movers and shakers." means "I'm sticking your ass on the line so my precious fanny won't get burned."
And, of course: "This is due by close of business tomorrow." means "You will not leave this office until 5 p.m. tomorrow. Better load up on the joe."
I know you've got some good ones. Give The Office some material, they're running low.
I'll start you off:
"I think this will be a great opportunity for you." really means "I don't have time to do this shit and I need you to cover me."
"This will give you exposure to some key movers and shakers." means "I'm sticking your ass on the line so my precious fanny won't get burned."
And, of course: "This is due by close of business tomorrow." means "You will not leave this office until 5 p.m. tomorrow. Better load up on the joe."
I know you've got some good ones. Give The Office some material, they're running low.
posted by Monica at
9:45 PM
7 Comments:
Sorry, I don't have a lot of good ones. When Joanna said, "I hate your personality," she meant, "I hate your personality." When she said, "I don't like the way this was written," she means, "This isn't how I would have written it so it's not good." When she said, "You're an evil back-stabbing bitch," she meant, "You're an evil back-stabbing bitch."
By
Rachel, at 9:00 PM
Wait now, that wasn't Joanna, it was her evil sidekick, Sophie.
By
Monica, at 12:17 PM
Does your last comment mean to suggest that you believe the quality of The Office has waned?
If so, I have to vehemently disagree. Easily one of the two funniest shows on TV right now.
By
jason, at 12:38 PM
Do you even watch the office, Mon? I've never seen it, but Ross thinks it's funny.
How about this: when you're the only person in the communications department, you work your ass off and don't even have time to listen to what people are saying to you anymore. I swear, I forget conversations now right after they happen, and I'm the girl who used to be able to repeat conversations to people word for word weeks after they happened.
What's going on with me???
By
Rachel, at 8:53 PM
Settle down Jason. I don't even watch The Office. I'm sure it's just as funny as ever. What is the second funniest show?
And Rach, you need to get the authority to hire someone to be your bitch. If neither one of us can remember anything we're screwed. That's not supposed to happen till we're 80!
By
Monica, at 7:34 AM
The other one would be Scrubs.
Curb Your Enthusiasm is funnier than both, though, but I wasn't counting it since it's on HBO.
By
jason, at 9:09 AM
I haven't seen Curb Your Enthusiasm. Come to think of it, I haven't watched much comedy lately. I watch mostly reruns for my laughs: Seinfeld, Friends and King of Queens. I kinda like the New Adventures of an Old Christine w/ Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
By
Monica, at 8:04 AM
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