The One With My Favorite Song

When I'm depressed, I've taken to listening to Pearl Jam over and over again, but last night, I decided to put in one of my favorite cds, Tom Petty's Greatest Hits. It's catchy and fun, and I was actually in a pretty good mood. When my favorite song, Mary Jane's Last Dance, came on, I was amazed at how easily it transfers my mood. The first guitar chords put a huge smile on my face, then the drums kick in, then that soothing voice and finally, the harmonica. This is just the greatest song ever.

I had just finished discussing with my therapist associations that you have with certain events. When you repress your feelings, the tiniest things can set you off -- a comment by your boss, a movie, etc. -- and make you a crying, depressed mess. But I guess the same is true of things with a positive association, like that song. I smile the second I hear it, without really knowing why. It came out in high school when I was also very, very depressed, but it's got that line, "Tired of screwing up, tired of going down, tired of myself, tired of this town," that I used to scream out from the front seat of my 1978 Oldsmobile every time I was upset. And then I did get out. I did everything I said I was going to do. So maybe that song then became a song of success. Every time Mon and I would get ready to go out in college (or get ready to think we were going out and then watch Friends all night), we'd play that song and dance around our apartment. I think I have a memory of that song from every phase in my life. I just love it.

And right now, it's good to have something that can always make me happy, no matter what.