The One With the Big Move

Joanna has been on vacation the last two days, and it's so nice. My stomach feels so much better not having her here to tell me what I'm doing wrong or what's wrong with my personality. However, with two hours left in the day, I can't seem to motivate myself to get to work.

I was thinking about how this month is the year anniversary of my move to California. I remember the finals ending here in L.A. about this time, fortunately with the Lakers and their rapist superstar not rising to victory. Instead, the team with no superstars, the Pistons, coached by former Kansas coach Larry Brown, won. Joanna was trying to form an us-against-them team mentality, and I can remember Mark and I walking around telling everyone that we were Ben and Rasheed -- we came as a team.

My first day on the job, I pull up to my job with a box filled with my diploma, some bobbleheads, a couple boxes of cereal to snack on when I'm hungry and dozens of pictures of my beloved dogs, and a young Asian woman with tatooed eyebrows escorts me up, trying not to laugh at all the stuff I brought. Then I meet Mark, who says, I've heard all about you and couldn't wait to meet you. We had been hired at the same time, and I didn't know it. She started the week before I did, and I hated saying, Nice to meet you, too, but I don't know who you are. The GM who had hired me had just been fired and the Board was in the midst of a huge fight about it. Two Board members had recently been convicted of bribery and would be indicted within the year. Welcome to the water industry.

Here I was, just happy to be freed of the arrogance and close-mindedness of the Texans I was used to dealing with everyday. I had no idea that Southern Californians will eat you alive, if you let them. I've spent a whole year hearing all the things wrong with the way I dress, carry myself and communicate. The funny thing is that the more Joanna tries to change my personality, the more sure I become of who I am. I guess this year has made me a lot stronger. There are a lot of things about myself that I want to change. I'd like to be in better control of my emotions and not lose my temper. I'd like to be more thick-skinned and assertive about things I want. I'd like to be able to tell people what I'm thinking so they can't push me around.

But I've learned that there are a lot of things that I really like about myself that I don't ever want to change. I like it that looks aren't important to me. I think it's great that I'm not shallow. I like that I'm kind and compassionate. I like that even if I may not be PR material I'm not fake. I like that I'm motivated and ambitious, even if it gives me health problems sometimes. I like that I'm passionate about what I do and put a lot of myself into my work. I like that I don't have to make a joke about everything. I think that workplace fun is important, but I also think it's important to take people seriously.

I'm a different person here than I've ever been anywhere else, but I think that's a good thing. It's given me some added insight into my personality.

And though I don't like my job, I'm really glad I moved to California. I hated Texas. I needed to leave there. It was only going to continue to make me unhappy. I made good on a promise I made to myself when I was in the fifth grade. I did it! I was a sports reporter for the paper I always wanted to write for. I lived in the big city when everyone said I couldn't. I had Cowboys season tickets, and I watched one of my childhood heros capture the all-time rushing title. And there was nothing there for me anymore. I made a couple of lifelong friends and met the perfect guy (for me, at least).

I had to find new dreams and new goals. I found dog training, and I have great opportunities here that wouldn't have been open to me in Texas. It was a good thing that I left. But it will be an even better thing when I leave this job for something else! I don't know what it will be yet, but I feel confident that the right opportunity is just around the corner.