The One with All the Excess

Is it you or your parents in this income tax bracket?

Excess ain't rebellion.

You're drinking what they're selling.

Your self-destruction doesn't hurt them.

Your chaos won't convert them.

They're so happy to rebuild it.

You'll never really kill it.

~ From "Rock 'n' Roll Lifestyle" by CAKE

On Friday, Jeremy and I went to a CAKE concert in Kirksville, MO. It was a great show, and actually worth the three hour drive. Actually, a CAKE concert was one of our first dates! So they hold a special place in our music collection. :)

But that's not the subject of this post. I was just reminded of this song when watching Dr. Phil last night. (And it also speaks to a conversation Rach and I recently had.)

So last night, Dr. Phil had on parents who spoil their children. It was like a bad car accident, I just couldn't stop watching. First up was this adorable mom who looked like a fashion model. She had two very cute little boys, ages 1 and 3. Their house looked like a friggin' Toys R Us. For the youngest's first birthday party, they had pony rides, one of those air bouncy jumpy things and it was CATERED. Next up was a 13-year-old who could cajole any and everything out of his guilt-ridden mother. Guitars, X-box, Playstation, TV's, stereos ... you get the picture. Why did his mother feel guilty? B/c she was unable to have more children. And finally, we have the 21-year-old college student. Her parents paid for everything, college, rent, utilities, cell phone, etc. She did have a job to support her shopping habit, but she didn't know how to balance her checkbook and kept maxxing out her credit card. Her mom thought she was level-headed and ready for the real world, when she would supposedly be cut off. (Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.)

What was interesting to me was the following:

1. I always wondered how the rich kids we went to college with wound up that way. Watching this show made me understand.
2. None of these parents thought their kids were out of control or spoiled. Several described their children as responsible, good kids who were level-headed. Total denial. These kids were brats, some even self-admitted.
3. I thought Dr. Phil's response was weak. Usually he's pretty clear-0cut, to the point, doesn't make you feel warm and fuzzy about your "bad" habits. I was a little disappointed.

Obviously, everyone wants to give their kids the best that they can. They love their children and they want their kids to have what they probably couldn't as a child. But is that what's best? Do you want your kids to love you because you hand it out every time they ask? And then they grow up without a thought as to others' situations. You know, the fact that there are really poor people in this country. Or that some kids actually pay their way through college. I just had a sick feeling in my chest watching the show. It completely disgusted me. I'm trying not to judge, b/c I know that every parent has different limits and different methods. But people, look beyond yourself! Are you really fulfilling your child's needs? Or your own? I think the latter.

I'm NOT saying I am a perfect parent, or even that I'm not materialistic, b/c I definitely can be. I like to have nice things. I like to look around my home and be comfortable. I like to buy David the things he needs and those he just wants. Hopefully the difference is I know to say "no" now and then. I go through his things and give them away when he's not playing with them anymore. I don't believe every room in the house needs a television.

Are these people completely oblivious to the world around them? Even just the country around them. There are very, very poor people living very crummy existences, probably a couple of miles, if not blocks, away from you. Could you not take some of your excess wealth and share it with those less fortunate? You know, not all of them are drunks or drug addicts. And maybe you would be a drunk to if you lived that life. Or if you're so guilt-ridden by your inability to have children, which BTW I think is ridiculous, then ADOPT! There are a ton of kids who would love to be loved by you.

Alright, I need to end this bitch session. I was just very frustrated by that show and hit with the reality that very rich or very poor is becoming the norm. It's a vicious cycle. What happened to middle class?