The One With an Apology to My Dad
Dear Dad,
After our conversation last night in which you proceeded to tell me all the reasons why liberal women like me are what is wrong with the world and why my marriage will fail, I was angry with you. I felt that you were just taking your stuff with Mom out on me. But once I started thinking about it, I realized that you are right, and I owe you an apology.
I'm sorry that I believe women deserve to be treated equal. I'm sorry that I'm not one of those demure women who did what their husbands told them like in the "good ole days." And I'm sorry about what women like me have meant to your life. I'm sorry that because of us, it wasn't OK for you to cheat on your wife with her best friend for 25 years and that she left you. I'm sorry that you're about to turn 50 and you're alone. I'm sorry that you're unhappy with your job since women being allowed to have education has obviously made it harder for men to get satisfactory work. And I now understand that all of this is my fault.
But most of all, Dad, I'm sorry that my being born ruined your life. Despite common belief, babies are not innocent. I can remember floating around in heaven, looking for the family whose life I could ruin the most, and I chose you. As you have pointed out since I was old enough to understand you, I'm responsible for you having to stay in an unhappy marriage. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that having me made it easier to have another child, trapping you even more. I'm sorry that I could read better than you when I was five. In your day, I'm sure that never happened since women were maintained their proper place beneath the man. I'm sorry that Mom loved me more than you and drove you to cheat on her with her best friend. I'm sorry that I got A's in school and went to college and got a job, allowing Mom to see that she, too, could do those things. I'm sorry that I met a man who's just the opposite of you. I'm sorry that he loves me and respects me and doesn't care that I don't want to take his last name. I'm sorry that he supports me and my need to work and get an education. I'm sorry that he tells me that I'm special, something severely lacking from your vocabulary. And I'm sorry that I'm happy when you're not.
I understand now that what you have been saying all these years is true. I am indeed responsible for how terrible your life is. I hope you will accept my apology so we can continue to have the truly wonderful relationship that we have always had.
Love, Rachel
After our conversation last night in which you proceeded to tell me all the reasons why liberal women like me are what is wrong with the world and why my marriage will fail, I was angry with you. I felt that you were just taking your stuff with Mom out on me. But once I started thinking about it, I realized that you are right, and I owe you an apology.
I'm sorry that I believe women deserve to be treated equal. I'm sorry that I'm not one of those demure women who did what their husbands told them like in the "good ole days." And I'm sorry about what women like me have meant to your life. I'm sorry that because of us, it wasn't OK for you to cheat on your wife with her best friend for 25 years and that she left you. I'm sorry that you're about to turn 50 and you're alone. I'm sorry that you're unhappy with your job since women being allowed to have education has obviously made it harder for men to get satisfactory work. And I now understand that all of this is my fault.
But most of all, Dad, I'm sorry that my being born ruined your life. Despite common belief, babies are not innocent. I can remember floating around in heaven, looking for the family whose life I could ruin the most, and I chose you. As you have pointed out since I was old enough to understand you, I'm responsible for you having to stay in an unhappy marriage. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that having me made it easier to have another child, trapping you even more. I'm sorry that I could read better than you when I was five. In your day, I'm sure that never happened since women were maintained their proper place beneath the man. I'm sorry that Mom loved me more than you and drove you to cheat on her with her best friend. I'm sorry that I got A's in school and went to college and got a job, allowing Mom to see that she, too, could do those things. I'm sorry that I met a man who's just the opposite of you. I'm sorry that he loves me and respects me and doesn't care that I don't want to take his last name. I'm sorry that he supports me and my need to work and get an education. I'm sorry that he tells me that I'm special, something severely lacking from your vocabulary. And I'm sorry that I'm happy when you're not.
I understand now that what you have been saying all these years is true. I am indeed responsible for how terrible your life is. I hope you will accept my apology so we can continue to have the truly wonderful relationship that we have always had.
Love, Rachel
posted by Rachel at
8:18 AM
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