The One Where an Old Friendship Is Rekindled
Strangely possessed by a passive-aggressive fight I recently had with my father, I decided to try to contact the person I always wanted to be my father when I was growing up. He was my dad's best friend and I went from having my first childhood crush on him to wishing that my mom would leave my dad and marry him. He had two daughters who I always thought of as my sisters. We would all vacation together.
I can remember being in Texas and his daughters were acting up and he'd lean over to me and whisper, "Let's just tell people that you're my daughter and those other kids are the Weaver kids." I don't know what he saw in our family or how he perceived all the strange relationships, but he was the only person in my life who liked me better than my brother. And I just adored him. One of my first childhood memories is him letting me pick out a song he would sing with his band. I always picked "Abracadbra."
When I was 16, he married someone who had two young children and he quit coming around. I needed a dad and didn't feel that I had one, and he really hurt me. I can count the number of times I've seen him since then.
So last week, I wrote him a letter. Don't let it hurt your feelings, Mom. I love you more. It's just easier to contact someone that you haven't spoken to in five years through a letter than the phone. I told him that I hoped our relationship could be fixed because even a 26-year-old sometimes needs a father. Last night, when I got home from dog class, there was a message on my answering machine. He said it was wonderful to hear from me. Today, I called him back. We talked for a few minutes about what was going on in our lives, but he was on his way to his kids' school play and said he'd call me back tomorrow.
Two minutes later, he called back and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I love you. It was so great to hear from you and I can't wait to get to know you again. You're one of the most wonderful people I've ever known and we can have any type of relationship you want. I care about you as much as I've ever cared about anyone. I didn't want to go any longer without saying that."
Yes, I'm a softie. I started crying. But every now and then, you need to hear someone say something like that to you who isn't your boyfriend.
I can remember being in Texas and his daughters were acting up and he'd lean over to me and whisper, "Let's just tell people that you're my daughter and those other kids are the Weaver kids." I don't know what he saw in our family or how he perceived all the strange relationships, but he was the only person in my life who liked me better than my brother. And I just adored him. One of my first childhood memories is him letting me pick out a song he would sing with his band. I always picked "Abracadbra."
When I was 16, he married someone who had two young children and he quit coming around. I needed a dad and didn't feel that I had one, and he really hurt me. I can count the number of times I've seen him since then.
So last week, I wrote him a letter. Don't let it hurt your feelings, Mom. I love you more. It's just easier to contact someone that you haven't spoken to in five years through a letter than the phone. I told him that I hoped our relationship could be fixed because even a 26-year-old sometimes needs a father. Last night, when I got home from dog class, there was a message on my answering machine. He said it was wonderful to hear from me. Today, I called him back. We talked for a few minutes about what was going on in our lives, but he was on his way to his kids' school play and said he'd call me back tomorrow.
Two minutes later, he called back and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I love you. It was so great to hear from you and I can't wait to get to know you again. You're one of the most wonderful people I've ever known and we can have any type of relationship you want. I care about you as much as I've ever cared about anyone. I didn't want to go any longer without saying that."
Yes, I'm a softie. I started crying. But every now and then, you need to hear someone say something like that to you who isn't your boyfriend.
posted by Rachel at
2:49 PM
3 Comments:
Good for you. I'm glad you're reconnecting. I tend to run from my past. I made this teeny-tiny attempt to reconnect with Anne. But then when she wrote me back, I bailed. And Brooke called me ... haven't called her back. Not sure what my problem is, I just don't really think I want to be friends with them. Besides, I don't see anything wrong with some people only being in your life for a short while. And then there are others who are worth the long haul ... that's you Rach.
By
Monica, at 3:04 PM
Um, I won't be around for the long haul if you rekindle with Anne. You know how I feel about her. :) Just kidding. You don't need those girls. People from high school are bad.
By
Rachel, at 9:48 PM
Well there's a good reason not to get back to her! :) Yeah, that's the conclusion I'm coming to. What do we have to talk about? People from high school. No thanks. Besides, you and I can relive that whenever we want!
By
Monica, at 11:42 AM
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