The One With My Lazy Eye

I decided to get Lasik eye surgery. My work will pay for it, and it would be nice to be able to wake up in the morning and see the alarm clock without squinting. So, while on my vacation this last week, I went in for my consultation. Turns out, I have a lazy eye.

I've always known that I've never been able to make my eyes cross-eyed like everyone else can. That's because my right eye gives up when it can't do something. I should have had therapy for this at age 6 to teach my eyes how to work, but of course, I didn't since I'm just learning about it at 27. I can still take therapy, but all it will do is improve it, not fix it.

So this is the reason that I can't see. It isn't because of genetics. It's because if my eye can't see something, it will just quit trying and then my other eye has to strain to work, causing my eye sight to get worse and worse. That's why I get headaches. So my eye doctor told me that even though getting this prescription that's lower than all my previous ones, eventually, my eye will quit trying at this level, too, and I'll start getting the headaches again.

Now, this is not to say that I can't get Lasik. In fact, the Lasik is going to help my headaches because my one strong eye won't have to strain anymore. But as soon as I get Lasik, I'm going to have to get reading glasses so I don't put undo strain on my eyes when I use the computer. Ahh, the irony. I guess I will never escape glasses. But I'm still going to do it because I'd rather just have to wear glasses for reading and using the computer than having to wear them all the time.

The One Where My Past Is Haunting Me

The hits keep on coming. They keep finding me. More and more people from my past are contacting me and trying to catch up. On one hand, it's nice. It's great to hear from people who were important, or not so important, to me 10 years ago. On the other hand, it reminds me of all the things I escaped.

One of my best friends from high school started contacting me this month. She was really only my friend senior year, but she almost single-handedly helped me get through the worst year of my life. She was always there with a smile and a comforting word, and she took me out to meet new people when things were going awful with my friends. It's great to hear from her and find out about her family, but browsing through some photos on her myspace page, I was reminded of what I have been running from my whole life. There was a picture of her with her three kids and husband, and she had a beer in one hand and a cigarette in another. I've been running from that my whole life. That's what I would have had if I had stayed with Barry -- an unhappy stay-at-home mom with three kids who gets through every day with cigs and beer. Maybe she's really happy, but it was my worst nightmare.

And then I was reminded of the other nightmare. The guy who bought me my beer when I was 17 -- and stalked me when I was 18 -- has been texting me. I think I mentioned him earlier. Anyway, he would text every morning at 5:55 a.m. when he first woke up. That's weird on many levels, but it's annoying on one key level -- I'm still asleep. So I asked him after a week to stop texting me before 7 a.m., 9 a.m. on the weekends. He said he would but didn't. I texted him again and asked him again. He didn't. So finally, I texted him and told him not to text me in the morning anymore. He texted me back and said, "Don't be mad. I'm a pothead. I just forget." For any of you who know me, you know how hurtful this simple statement is. I have spent my whole life feeling that pot was more important than me. I have spent my whole life trying to get potheads to love me and treat me like I'm important. I know that allowing me my extra hour of sleep might not seem like a big deal, but to me, it is. I have boundaries, and I think my friends should respect them. They should not forget because they are potheads. I didn't text him back, and I haven't heard from him since.

The One Where I Am Acclimating

I don't think I'll ever get to the point where I could be described as "LA," but after three years, I am starting to get acclimated to Southern California, to the point where I think I even like it.

First of all, hardly anyone smokes. There are even smoke-free beaches. Can you imagine? Places where you can't even smoke outside! So that's nice. When we went to Las Vegas, I was reminded how awful it is to be in buildings where people are allowed to smoke. And now that I'm not used to it, my eyes burned and I could hardly breathe.

The restaurants around us are so excellent that Ross and I have become snobs about where we eat. At his office gift exchange, the TGIFriday gift card was the gift most stolen, and Ross and I had a good laugh about how much disdain that we regarded that gift with. We never have to eat at chain restaurants because of all the great Mom and Pop places around us. The South Bay is truly unique in all the unique businesses and restaurants it has to offer.

I have also settled into a pattern. We have a place to spend every Christmas. I have a place where I can buy expensive raw food for my dogs now that I'm into holistically treating them. I have the top thyroid expert in the country an hour from me where I can take Chubbs and buy his medicene at cost instead of paying an arm and a leg for it. I've even gotten to where I can predict traffic pretty well when I actually leave the South Bay to go somewhere. I even got invited to a New Years party for the first time since we've lived here. One of my dog clients is having a 70s-themed party. They're going to have a disco ball and 70s food like hamburger helper and fondue. I think it will be fun, but I've been agonizing about it for weeks because I didn't live in the 70s, except that last five months of 1979, and I'm not sure what to wear. I decided to go as Tom Petty and bought a hat like he wears during "Breakdown" and a suit jacket that looks kind of like the one that he has on the cover of "Damn the Torpedoes." I already have the hair, and I have a shirt that says "Tom Petty 1971" with the heart and guitar.

And I've developed a touch of the LA attitude. I hardly ever make eye contact with people on the street anymore, and I only exchange smiles when the person smiles at me first. I can also hold my own when being harrassed on the street. The other day, I had to protect Muggsy from some construction worker on the street, and I had him more afraid of me than Muggsy. And I'm so proud of the way Muggsy has developed his LA attitude. He's doing so well out here now. He relaxes on walks and can walk right next to someone without lunging, unless they try to pet him...

The South Bay is great for dogs. There are tons of groomers and pet boutiques and dog walkers. It's been great for trying to help my dog training boss build her new business. We left the pet store that we were affliated with and have had to search for new referrals. I've been in charge of the South Bay and have had a lot of luck approaching groomers and boarders. I even got a vet clinic and a new pet store. There's just a multitude of places for your pet and places that accept pets. It makes this a pretty cool area to live in. I guess we might just stay here awhile.