The One where My Dog Ate My ... Cell Phone?

That's right folks. Maggie (or Theo ... yeah, right) ate my cell phone. Don't worry ... she didn't actually swallow any of the pieces ... except maybe the antenna. I haven't been able to track that down.

So Saturday morning, I'm like "Where's my cell phone? Has anyone seen my cell phone?" Chandler discovered Theo holding it between his paws like a bone. You may think this makes Theo look like the guilty party ... wrong! Let's keep in mind that Maggie is the one who eats trash like she's a goat instead of a basset hound. AND she's the one who wolfed down an entire rotissory chicken. She's constantly rummaging through the house searching for some small tidbit that David may have left behind. I've included the photo above so that you are not confused. We do not starve our dogs. Both of them are quite stout and could certainly stand to miss a meal ... or five. But Mags can't help it, she follows her nose!

The One With Farmers and Puppies and Bulls, Oh My!

It seems like it's been a little while since I've written, so I just wanted to catch up. Last week at work, one of my co-workers showed me the funniest site, www.farmersonly.com, a web site for country-minded people to meet one another, like a dating web site. Yes, you, too, can find a dream hick to take home to the farm. I looked through it a little to see if anyone I went to high school with was on it, but I don't think anyone I went to high school with probably uses the computer that much -- or they're already married. A 26-year-old farm girl who isn't married is really considered an old maid. When I was 19, I was in Mon's wedding, and a cousin said to me, "Remember, don't be always a bridesmaid, never a bride." At 19!!

Anyway, they had a story about it on msn and interviewed some farm girl from Tennessee who was talking about why she hated city guys, and it hit me -- I've become a snob. I've really been trying hard not to lose where I came from. I love Kansas, and I'm glad I grew up there, but I'm also glad that I left. I was reading through all of these Cowboys Looking For Love entries, and I just kept laughing at the bad grammar and punctuation and how small-minded some of these people were. I keep thinking of Texas and the guys with the Southern accents complaining that there are too many blacks in their neighborhoods. "I ain't never met no woman who knows about football." I want to embrace my past, and I hate it when people who have a college degree suddenly think they're too good to try to understand why people who grow up on a farm think differently than them. But I found myself judging these people who would "rather go muddin' than have a fancy supper." Guess I need to work on that (but do go check it out if you want a laugh. :)

This weekend, I had my first full weekend of dog training. I had four private appointments, two classes and a pet fair. I worked all day both days. It was really fun just to see what my life will be like when I can do this full-time. It was not fun coming back to work today without getting anytime to rest during the weekend, not that I do much of that anyway. I did have an appointment with the cutest St. Bernard puppies. One was really good-looking but the other was "mis-marked" and only had one spot over his eye. I thought he was adorable. The look on his face reminded me of Chubbs, which my boss said she suspected since Chubbs has a "big-dog personality." The client was really great and his father-in-law is an artist who does pet portraits. I've always wanted to do that, so I might, if I can afford it.

Speaking of Chubbs, he's halfway through his Canine Good Citizen class. He'll take a test on Dec. 6, and if he passes, he'll be Level 1 therapy certified by the AKC. I really want to take him to those programs where kids learn to read by reading to dogs or to terminal wings in children's hospitals. He loves kids, and I think they would love to pet him with his long hair and all his goofiness. I'm also going to sign him up for an agility class.

Then, Sunday night, we went to the Lakers-Bulls game as the first part of my Chronikah present. It was great. Kirk Hinrich had 19 points and Kobe Bryant, who I despise with every fiber of my sports-loving being, missed the shot to win the game for the Lakers. Bulls win. I hope the Sonics have the same luck when Nick Collison comes to town on Thursday.

The weirdest part of the night was on the way home, 12 cop cars shut down the freeway probably four cars in front of us to arrest a car full of guys. I don't know what these guys did, but all I could see was policemen running around with huge guns. I was a little nervous, but they broke it up pretty quickly. When I told everyone at work about it, they were like, "Just another night in L.A." So I guess I'm officially a Californian now.

The One with Danny Blocksome

Last night I had a bizarre dream. I dreamed that I was back in high school (AUGH!) and dating Dan Blocksome (everyone else called him Danny ... yuck). We were at some sort of event, maybe a dance? But it was during the day, so I'm not sure. Anyway, Dan and Matt (remember him? Tall skinny guy with huge glassess, red hair and freckles?) were out behind the high school smoking pot with some other guys. Which is weird b/c I never knew of anyone smoking pot back there ... but then again, I never knew of anyone doing drugs at all!

I went back behind the school to talk to Dan, and I saw three little kids, between the ages of 7 and 10. Two girls and a little boy. In magical dream land ... and small town society, I knew that these were the kids of one of the guys smoking (and supplying) the pot.

Then I gathered the three kids and gave them an anti-drug speech! I told them how un-cool those guys were for smoking and that they were losers. And of course, they all listened to me wide-eyed and nodded their little blond heads.

Then I went and found Dan, and that was the end of the dream! I think I'm freaking out in advance ... practicing my anti-drug speech for David ... 10 years in advance? Dream analysis?

The One Where It's Basketball Season!!

Last Wednesday night, football season ended. And just in the nick of time, seeing how Kansas was destroyed, obliterated, annihilated by Texas on Saturday. But, of course, Wednesday marked the beginning of basketball season. Yes, Kansas fans, no more shouting, "Wait until basketball season!" It's here. All in all, it was a successful football season. Kansas beat Missouri and ended a 36-game losing streak to Nebraska. What more can you ask for?

It just hit me this morning that basketball season was in full swing when Kansas had two of the top 10 plays on SportsCenter for its exhibition win against Pittsburg State (no, there's no 'h' -- this is a small Kansas school). Brandon Rush (sorry, I still think it's so wrong that we have a Rush at KU) had one and Giles, who led the team with 24 points, had another. I was 10 minutes late to work because I stuck around to watch the highlights, but I think my boss will understand. :) The best part, though, was that Missouri lost its regular season opener to Sam Houston State. HA! The SportsCenter anchor said, "Quin's hair was in midseason form, but his team wasn't." Hahahahahaha. Isn't it about time to show Quin the door? Believe me, I'm a huge Quin fan -- he's run that program into the ground. But please, Tigers, let's have some dignity. Surely, you can't accept a sixth place finish in the Big 12 every year?

I actually missed both exhibition games, both times because I was catching up with old friends from Texas. Last night, one of Ross' old college roommates came into town, one of my favorite of his friends. He always makes me laugh and we have a surprising amount of things in common. It's always funny when you hear someone say something that is just completely like you but you never realized it. That happens with my friends all the time, but it doesn't happen out here because everyone is so different from me. That's great, but it's nice to catch up with people who you can relate to. Even though I'm a lame adult now and had to go home at 10, I really enjoyed spending time with him. (And watching the Cowboys come back to beat the Eagles, which is always fun, even if football season is over.)

Guess that's about it. Kansas opens its season Friday against Idaho State. I certainly won't miss that. I'm excited to see what this group of unproven freshmen and sophomores look like. And I'm comforted by the thought that no matter what happens this year, nothing can be worse than watching last year's team lose to Bucknell. :)

The One With the Voting

Tuesday, I spent the whole day trying to decide if I was going to go vote. I've been following the election a little bit and I had some opinions on the propositions that Gov. Swartzenegger was proposing, but I really didn't feel that I had a good enough grasp on the issues to get out and vote. However, once I heard an ultra-conservative colleague talking at work, I decided I'd better get caught up fast and get out there to vote.

The Governor was proposing seven propositions, three of which especially were designed to give him a lot more power to cut funding to certain programs, including education. I feel pretty strongly about this because LA has a lot of very impoverished areas. I see kids coming through our education program who will tell me that they're hungry because they don't have food at home. These kids aren't going to get opportunities to learn and make their lives better when the classrooms are crowded, the teachers are losing their benefits and there aren't enough textbooks to go around. He claims he wants to "reform Sacramento." I just don't think he's the guy to do it. His term hasn't been very successful thusfar.

But the biggest reason I got out to vote was Proposition 73, which would require teenager girls to have permission from their parents before they could get an abortion. I know that on the surface that sounds like a good bill, but I'm pretty much against anything that removes a girl's choices. Imagine being a terrified 15-year-old who made a mistake and now faced the decision of fixing it or letting it change the rest of her life and knew she couldn't seek solace in her ultra-conservative Catholic parents. This girl is going to find a way to get rid of that baby. Why not give her the option to do it in a safe way, in a clinic with an experienced doctor? A friend of mine reminded me that this proposition was really being overlooked -- by everyone except the religious vote -- so if I felt strongly about it, I really needed to get out and make my opinion heard.

The more I thought about it the more I realized that it's my civic duty to vote. It's my right as an American, and I need to take advantage of it. I'm glad I did. Proposition 73 failed by a very small margin. In fact, all the propositions failed, sending a very strong message to the Governor that California is not happy with his agenda. I'm amazed that we could elect a guy that we all seem to disagree with so strongly, but anything can happen in California. :)

I was also dismayed to hear that back on the homefront, in Kansas, we have again become the laughingstock of the nation by removing evolution from our school ciriculums in favor of teaching creationism. I don't think I need to explain that creationism should be taught in the homes and churches and evolution should be taught in the schools as a scientific theory. We are doing a real disservice to our children. The two theories can co-exist in the Christian home. ("Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?" "Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.")

The One Where the Streak Ends!

As you all know, I enjoy my college football, but it pretty much ends on the second Friday in October when basketball practice starts. I attended every game I could in college, and I enjoy a good Saturday of college football, but it certainly doesn't devastate me when Kansas loses. But the last two years, I've had a real rooting interest in the season besides beating Missouri -- I wanted Kansas to end the 36-year losing streak to Nebraska. It was the second-longest streak in the nation behind Navy-Notre Dame. The last time Kansas beat Nebraska (1968), we weren't even a glimmer in our parents' eyes yet.

Last year, it almost happened, just like we almost won all of our games except Oklahoma. Kansas lost at Nebraska 14-6. This year, the game was at Memorial Stadium, and I really hoped Kansas could win. However, in the last few games, Kansas has struggled to score even a touchdown, so I didn't have a lot of hope.

But it happened! Kansas won, 40-15, the most points Kansas has ever scored against Nebraska, in front of a record crowd of 51,000. I listened to the game on my internet radio, which I have tried not to do this season because it bothered Ross last season. But he was kind enough today to watch his Longhorns destroying Baylor on mute so I could listen to my game. I really thought it was over when Nebraska brought it to 17-15 when Kansas fumbled the ball inside the Nebraska 20. Nebraska could have tied, after trailing 17-2, but missed the two-point conversion. But Kansas immediately came back and scored and clinched the game in the fourth quarter when it returned an interception for a touchdown. OK, the team received a penalty for excessive celebration, but I'll take it. Like Bob said, "Come on, you can't penalize. They haven't beaten them since 1968!"

I haven't seen it, but I'm sure the fans tore down the goalposts. Good for them. I'm glad the streak is over.

I called Mindy to tell her the news and we once again relived the time Kansas almost beat Nebraska when we were in school. We went to school during the Terry Allen years, which were pretty terrible. It was a lot of sitting in the rain and snow watching K-State, Nebraska, Texas, Oklahoma... beat the crap out of our football team. Mindy and I have a pretty good joke about the Nebraska game because it fell on Halloween that year and I had yet to buy my costume. Now, Mindy doesn't really like football that much, and I hate to shop, so we always joke that it was the time that I made her late for a football game because I wanted to shop. When we heard that Kansas was still winning in the second quarter, we were shocked. We hurried to the stadium, where our friends were saving us seats. (At Kansas games, you can leave at halftime, drink into the third quarter and return to your same great seats -- not that I ever did that...) When we got there, Kansas scored again, and one of our best friends shoved his girlfriend (now wife) out of the way to hug his best friend. Mindy and I still die of laughter thinking of that poor girl falling into the guy behind her so her boyfriend could hug someone else.

That's our Nebraska story. Nebraska came back to win, 31-17. Thankfully, everyone at Memorial Stadium today has a better one.

The One Where an Old Friendship Is Rekindled

Strangely possessed by a passive-aggressive fight I recently had with my father, I decided to try to contact the person I always wanted to be my father when I was growing up. He was my dad's best friend and I went from having my first childhood crush on him to wishing that my mom would leave my dad and marry him. He had two daughters who I always thought of as my sisters. We would all vacation together.

I can remember being in Texas and his daughters were acting up and he'd lean over to me and whisper, "Let's just tell people that you're my daughter and those other kids are the Weaver kids." I don't know what he saw in our family or how he perceived all the strange relationships, but he was the only person in my life who liked me better than my brother. And I just adored him. One of my first childhood memories is him letting me pick out a song he would sing with his band. I always picked "Abracadbra."

When I was 16, he married someone who had two young children and he quit coming around. I needed a dad and didn't feel that I had one, and he really hurt me. I can count the number of times I've seen him since then.

So last week, I wrote him a letter. Don't let it hurt your feelings, Mom. I love you more. It's just easier to contact someone that you haven't spoken to in five years through a letter than the phone. I told him that I hoped our relationship could be fixed because even a 26-year-old sometimes needs a father. Last night, when I got home from dog class, there was a message on my answering machine. He said it was wonderful to hear from me. Today, I called him back. We talked for a few minutes about what was going on in our lives, but he was on his way to his kids' school play and said he'd call me back tomorrow.

Two minutes later, he called back and said, "I just wanted to tell you that I love you. It was so great to hear from you and I can't wait to get to know you again. You're one of the most wonderful people I've ever known and we can have any type of relationship you want. I care about you as much as I've ever cared about anyone. I didn't want to go any longer without saying that."

Yes, I'm a softie. I started crying. But every now and then, you need to hear someone say something like that to you who isn't your boyfriend.

The One With the Fun Trip Down Memory Lane

Last night, Mindy and I were on the phone looking at her new friendster profile. I have one because another of my friends from college invited me to join, and we were looking at all our second-degree friends. Mindy kept finding people from her high school, so I decided to look for people from mine. I found only one -- the guy I went to prom with when I was a sophomore. His profile said he was looking to meet MEN for relationships.

I've been saying all along that there must have been someone gay who I went to high school with who was just afraid to be different. So not only did I go to school with a gay guy but I went to his senior prom with him!! I'm such a magnet. One of my close friends in college "came out" to me, and the best non-dog friend I've made here is a gay man. I'm very excited. I sent him a message, asking if he remembered me. Wonder if I'll hear from him.

And I had one other happy childhood memory that I wanted to share because I think about this a lot actually. This is not to say that I don't have fond memories of my childhood because I do, but we were poor and didn't have a lot and my parents did drugs and I was different, and I spent a lot of my childhood counting the days until I turned 18. But when I was a little girl, once a week my mom would take us to town to go grocery shopping, and there was this little market that we went to on Main St. to buy fruits and vegetables. Every time we went, even though she probably couldn't afford it, my mom would let my brother and I pick out 20 pieces of candy each -- tootsie rolls, Bit O Honeys, jawbreakers, caramels, whatever we wanted. And we could have two pieces on the way home. I can still remember going through the baskets, picking out my 20 favorite pieces of candy very carefully, and then sitting in the car on the way home, thinking even more carefully about which two I would eat first. For some reason, this is one of the best memories of my childhood. It's such a simple thing, but it was so important to me. I looked forward to it every week.

Every Tuesday, I have to go to a construction meeting for this huge recycled water pipeline my company is building through Torrance, and the contractors always have little dishes of candy set out for us -- mini candy bars, tootsie rolls and sometimes Bit O Honeys. So every week I think back on that part of my childhood and remember how much I enjoyed going to that little market to pick out candy.

It's funny what sticks with you.

The One with All the Excess

Is it you or your parents in this income tax bracket?

Excess ain't rebellion.

You're drinking what they're selling.

Your self-destruction doesn't hurt them.

Your chaos won't convert them.

They're so happy to rebuild it.

You'll never really kill it.

~ From "Rock 'n' Roll Lifestyle" by CAKE

On Friday, Jeremy and I went to a CAKE concert in Kirksville, MO. It was a great show, and actually worth the three hour drive. Actually, a CAKE concert was one of our first dates! So they hold a special place in our music collection. :)

But that's not the subject of this post. I was just reminded of this song when watching Dr. Phil last night. (And it also speaks to a conversation Rach and I recently had.)

So last night, Dr. Phil had on parents who spoil their children. It was like a bad car accident, I just couldn't stop watching. First up was this adorable mom who looked like a fashion model. She had two very cute little boys, ages 1 and 3. Their house looked like a friggin' Toys R Us. For the youngest's first birthday party, they had pony rides, one of those air bouncy jumpy things and it was CATERED. Next up was a 13-year-old who could cajole any and everything out of his guilt-ridden mother. Guitars, X-box, Playstation, TV's, stereos ... you get the picture. Why did his mother feel guilty? B/c she was unable to have more children. And finally, we have the 21-year-old college student. Her parents paid for everything, college, rent, utilities, cell phone, etc. She did have a job to support her shopping habit, but she didn't know how to balance her checkbook and kept maxxing out her credit card. Her mom thought she was level-headed and ready for the real world, when she would supposedly be cut off. (Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.)

What was interesting to me was the following:

1. I always wondered how the rich kids we went to college with wound up that way. Watching this show made me understand.
2. None of these parents thought their kids were out of control or spoiled. Several described their children as responsible, good kids who were level-headed. Total denial. These kids were brats, some even self-admitted.
3. I thought Dr. Phil's response was weak. Usually he's pretty clear-0cut, to the point, doesn't make you feel warm and fuzzy about your "bad" habits. I was a little disappointed.

Obviously, everyone wants to give their kids the best that they can. They love their children and they want their kids to have what they probably couldn't as a child. But is that what's best? Do you want your kids to love you because you hand it out every time they ask? And then they grow up without a thought as to others' situations. You know, the fact that there are really poor people in this country. Or that some kids actually pay their way through college. I just had a sick feeling in my chest watching the show. It completely disgusted me. I'm trying not to judge, b/c I know that every parent has different limits and different methods. But people, look beyond yourself! Are you really fulfilling your child's needs? Or your own? I think the latter.

I'm NOT saying I am a perfect parent, or even that I'm not materialistic, b/c I definitely can be. I like to have nice things. I like to look around my home and be comfortable. I like to buy David the things he needs and those he just wants. Hopefully the difference is I know to say "no" now and then. I go through his things and give them away when he's not playing with them anymore. I don't believe every room in the house needs a television.

Are these people completely oblivious to the world around them? Even just the country around them. There are very, very poor people living very crummy existences, probably a couple of miles, if not blocks, away from you. Could you not take some of your excess wealth and share it with those less fortunate? You know, not all of them are drunks or drug addicts. And maybe you would be a drunk to if you lived that life. Or if you're so guilt-ridden by your inability to have children, which BTW I think is ridiculous, then ADOPT! There are a ton of kids who would love to be loved by you.

Alright, I need to end this bitch session. I was just very frustrated by that show and hit with the reality that very rich or very poor is becoming the norm. It's a vicious cycle. What happened to middle class?