The One With the Work and Dog Drama

Well, this has been a long week. I know that I haven't written about this in awhile, but there has been a lot of drama taking place at my hated job. As you all know, the Districts that I work for are splitting. This means that the staff will be split and some will probably be out of a job. That's a lot of drama to have weighing on you for three months.

Everyone in my department, including my psycho boss, is going to one District and expected me to go along with them. Since I was promised a job, I decided to go along with it. I don't have family out here like most of the people I work with, and I really need this job. Well, my psycho boss and our department preceeded to wall off our offices like we were at war. We couldn't talk to anyone who wasn't going to our District. We couldn't talk about what our decision was, nothing. We were causing all sorts of drama. I hate acting like this. I hated alienating people and treating people like they were less than me. I hated lying to people and trying to manipulate people. My boss kept lecturing me on how I needed to change who I was if I wanted to fit in this department.

Finally, I got pushed out of the group. Though I tried to fit in, my boss decided that I shouldn't come to Central Basin. I think she knows that she can't push me around like she does everyone else. There's something about me that she's never liked. I don't know what it is. So she kept trying to push me toward the other District. I kept saying no. Finally, she told me, "I think you'll be happier at the other District." I just let her think that I didn't understand her game and told her that she was right.

Since then, I have been completed alienated by almost everyone in my department. All of my good projects have been taking from me, and I just get everyone else's extra work dumped on me. It's been miserable.

But it's finally coming to an end. Monday, on Muggsy and Fenway's birthday, we get our offer letters. I have expressed my interest in going to the other District and have been pretty well-received. Once I get my offer letter, everything will be so much better. A huge weight will have been lifted. I'll have a better commute and won't have to work for my crazy boss anymore. If I just get my offer letter... So keep sending me positive thoughts!!


As for my dogs, this has been rough on Muggsy, too. Poor guy always gets stressed when I am. Last week, he attacked Chubbs every day, some days more than once. It was really awful. We're just finally getting back to normal. He hasn't attacked Chubbs since Saturday.

Because of my tax woes, I can't afford to give my dogs a proper birthday on Monday, but hopefully, there will be much to celebrate. :)

The One With the Strange Compliment

People in California are so weird. And Isee some of the weirdest when I go work at community events for my job. There was the guy who told me that he never drank water. Um, OK. And then the woman who, in perfect English with no accent, told me that she didn't speak English.

But yesterday, I got the weirdest compliment. Yesterday, someone told me that I have a beautiful gumline. Yes, a beautiful gumline. I figured he was a dentist, but instead of going into how I spent $6,000 on my teeth in the last three years or how I have a dental routine that takes me about 15 minutes every night, I just said, "Thanks. I floss every night." I figured at that point, he would tell me that he was a dentist and that would be that, but he said, "Yeah, my problem is that I just can't quit smoking." Then, he walked off. So now I'm thinking that he was just a weirdo.

I also saw a sticker on a car that had a TRUTH fish eating a Darwin fish. I was hoping to meet that guy because it would be cool to meet someone who had been around since the beginning of the Earth and knew what the TRUTH was, but alas, I never saw him.

The One With the Really Reliable Recall

Here you go, Mon, a sure-fire way to teach a rock-solid recall to your dog. The way my boss teaches recall is so awesome. It's easier if I show you, but I thought I'd just write it out in case anyone else might like to read it. Just remember, don't skip or hurry through steps. It takes a lot of repetitions at each step, but make it into a game and you'll love it.

First, make sure your dog can sit with a hand signal. Do that by taking some treats, holding them above Theo's nose until he drops into a sit without you saying the word. Practice this enough times that you can just hold your hand over his head like you have a treat and he sits.

Then, on a 6-foot leash, you can start practicing. Do not practice without a leash at first. You don't want your dog to learn that "come" is a word he can ignore. On leash, if he makes a mistake, you can pull him in. If he has been ignoring "come" before, change the word to "here" or something like that. He needs a new association.

I don't teach come from a sit-stay because if your dog is running down the street, he's not in a sit-stay. So throw a couple of treats to the end of the six-foot leash.

After he eats the treats, run backward a few steps, repeating Theo's name excitedly. When you stop, hold your hand above his nose so he drops in the automatic sit. Say COME or whatever your word is when he drops in the sit. Give him treats and tell him over and over how good he is. Pet him around his collar.

We teach the sit with it without saying the word sit because we want the dogs to learn that come means come and sit in front of me. It's not two different commands. Because come does you no good if your dog comes running to you and then goes flying past you. It also does no good if your dog won't let you touch their collar, so pet around the collar.

Be really excited when you're doing this. Use the best treats, even people food if you want, whatever is Theo's favorite. Use something different sometimes. Sometimes give several treats, sometimes just one. Make a big deal out of it. You want Theo to learn that come is the best thing that could ever happen to him. He might only get one treat, but he might also get four pieces of chicken. He never knows. That will keep him charging back to you. Always make it into a game.

We say come when he gets to you at first because he doesn't know the word right now and we want him to associate it with the final behavior. Once he gets the game and is coming reliably to his name, say come at the beginning instead of saying his name over and over. But always use his name first because if he does get away, what's going to be the first thing out of your mouth?

Remember only practice on-leash right now.

Start with practicing in the house and backyard. Then move to the front yard. Practice it in various areas on your walk. Practice you standing at your door and calling him in. Practice at the spot where he got away.

When he's really good at that, buy a 30-foot leash. You can get them on the internet or some pet stores. Start using that instead of the short leash. Start over at the beginning. Retrace your steps from not using come at first to practicing in different places throughout your neighborhood.

Make it into a game in your backyard. You, Chandler and David, if he wants, can spread out to different points of the yard and call him one at a time. When he gets to you, give a treat and praise, then the next person calls. It's also great exercise for the dogs. Practice with Maggie, too, and only reward the dog that gets there first. Adds motivation. Call the dogs to you when you're cooking (or unloading the fast food) in the kitchen. Give them a little bit when they get there.

In short, come is always this great, exciting thing.

When you really need it, you won't have a treat or anything with you. But you'll have practiced it so much, in so many contexts, that Theo won't know that. He'll come back instead of running down the street. Try it, if you have time. I think it will be really helpful for you.

The One With the Family Farm

I think most of you know this, but my parents divorced last month, just before their 27th wedding anniversary. This means that there was no use for the family farm, where I lived from age 9 until I graduated from high school. My dad sold it today. One would think that this would be a nostalgic post about saying good-bye to the farm where I grew up and haven't seen in two years. But it's not.

I did not like that farm. It was 80 acres, mostly original, unfarmed Kansas ground. The land was the best part. You could actually go out in the pasture and see old buffalo wallers, where the buffalo rolled in the ground to keep cool. There were two ponds, but they were never filled. Then, of course, there was the land where we grew hay and alfalfa. We raised pigs, chickens, geese, turkies and horses on this farm. There was also a pretty decent-sized garden where my mom grew vegetables and a small orchard with fruit trees. It was a mile from the nearest neighbor with a quarter-mile driveway that separated it from everything.

I just described you the nice part. The house was a dump. When my parents bought, we didn't have much money. The living room roof leaked everywhere. Mon can tell you about the time that my dad and cousins (white trash alert! white trash alert!) caught the field on fire on the Fourth of July and we had to run into the house to gather up the buckets to put it out. I can still see Mon's mom trying to pull the garden hose to the pasture when it was a mile too short. :) There was no second bedroom, so my brother and I slept on bunkbeds in my parents' walk-in closet. The wall of the shower was falling out and was held together with a couple of garbage bags. You had to use pliers to turn on the shower. I had to wear my contacts into the shower in the morning so I could see and kill all the bugs that would run across my feet if I couldn't see. The septic tank would often overflow in the yard. Half of the house had no electricity.

As the years went on, there were improvements. When I started high school, I got my own bedroom. My dad also built a second bathroom, but I never once got to use it. It was just completed before he sold the house. The house later got electricity and the second bathroom remodeled. The living room was expanded and got a new roof, though in the time that I was living there, it was never painted or had carpet. Before he sold it, Dad even painted the outside. I've only seen the new and improved farm in pictures.

My relationship with my family wasn't good growing up and I was never really happy in the small town in which I lived. So I can't say that I'm sorry to see that house go. It's just wood and nails. All of the memories I have from my childhood are what's important.

But this also means that I never have another reason to return to the town where I grew up. My dad won't be there, and my mom and brother live in Lawrence now. There's no reason for me to ever go back to the place I spent 18 years of my life. I guess that's a little weird, thinking about how I'll never eat at Carolyn's again or drive down Main St. or see the house where my grandmother used to live. Also doesn't really make me sad, but when you spend so much of your life in one place, it's definitely weird to think about never going back there.

The One With the Agility Basset

Just a quick light-hearted post to lighten the mood a little.

I'm back in agility class with Chubbs. I had to sit out the last session because of my month of recurring dizzy spells, but I rejoined the basic class, just because I think it's fun. This class is so much better than my last one. There aren't that many traditional agility dogs like border collies and shelties. There's a dog that looks like a pit bull with basset hound legs, another pit mix and a basset hound!

You've all seen agility, right? Dogs rushing through courses, jumping through tires, running over ramps... Can you picture a basset doing this? Try. It really cracks me up. In the middle of the run, he will just get bored and wonder away from his owner. He's scared of the tunnel. But at the end of class, his owner hit on a gold mine. He brought out this squeaky ball and the dog came tearing across the course and did exactly what it was supposed to. The entire class applauded. It was hilarious.

For those of you who are wondering how my big clumsy, Newfie-Rottie is doing in the class, well, he's slower than the basset. :)

The One with the 911 Call

Also this story breaks my heart.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/04/10/911.lawsuit/index.html

The One Where We Pay It Forward

I was talking to some co-workers this morning and our conversation turned in a way that reminded me of two very personal stories. The first is pretty recent, it only happened a few years ago. When David was born, he was an unexpected bundle of joy. And an unexpected bundle of costs! It's amazing how much cash it takes to keep one of those little guys afloat! Chandler had been out of college two years and I had just graduated 9 months prior (you do the math ;). One day Chandler went to the grocery store to get formula. I think a little package costs about $12 and the large can was around $20. When he got to the register, his card was rejected. With no cash and no other cards, he had to leave. But as Chandler was walking out to his car, a man ran out with the formula he had just left behind.

My second story is from my childhood. When I was little, we lived in Arkadelphia, AR. My dad was a professor at a small college in town, but he decided to give in to the call he first heard at age 14 and become a preacher. He worked all manner of odd jobs, in addition to preaching at a tiny church in the country with seven faithful members. So I'm sure money was tight and my mom tells of one day where she looked into the cabinets and there was no food. I'm not sure how old I was, but I think I was a toddler and I don't think my sister was around yet. She didn't what she was going to do, she didn't have any money. A woman in her church pulled into our driveway with a trunk full of groceries. My mom didn't call and tell anyone about her needs; the woman just somehow knew.

I wanted to share these stories to encourage us, including myself, to pay it forward. To think about the times you've been in need and someone has been kind. To be thankful every day for the comforts of your home and to remember that you're not far from standing on the corner or visiting a shelter. I know I'm about a paycheck away from it! David's school is fund-raising for the Caring for People Fund right now. A statistic on some of the literature said that the average annual income of a family of three that this fund assists is $19,000. Now think about what your family's average annual income is! I know I needed this reminder that I'm so blessed to have been able to receive a college education and have an excellent job. Now I need to search for ways to get involved and help those less fortunate. And to pay it forward!

The One In Which the Question Is Answered

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to be mean or hurt anyone's feelings. Don't take it personally.

Ross has requested that I write a post answering the question: Why Do I Hate Texas? Obviously, this is addressed to the Texans who read this blog because everyone who doesn't live in Texas has their own answer to this question, and it's probably pretty similar to mine. Before I start, though, I just want to say that I met many wonderful people while in Texas and not everything I say applies to everyone I met.

To understand the reason that I hate Texas, you have to understand me a little. I grew up in a small town where it wasn't OK to be different. I spent 18 years of my life feeling like I didn't belong and didn't fit. As a child, the only place we could afford to vacation was Dallas, Texas. Every year, we would go there to catch a Cowboys game. From the time I was 13, I felt like I belonged there. It was bigger and people thought like me. Very naively, I thought that's what I was looking for -- a place where I fit.

When I went to college, I found a place where I fit in a different way. I met people who understood me and liked me for who I was. I also met people who were drastically different from me and I began to change a lot. I realized that what I was looking for weren't people who were like me but people who accepted people no matter what their differences were. I made friends with people from different countries, from different religions, with completely different backgrounds. This was the kind of environment I wanted to be in.

But I made a promise to a 13-year-old girl that I would be a sports reporter for the Dallas Morning News and be a Cowboys season ticket holder. It was a promise I had to keep.

I lived in Dallas for three years and met lots of people. And the reason that I hate Texas can be summed up with the question that I get every time I tell a Texan that I hate Texas. "How can you hate Texas?" Texans cannot seem to understand that not everyone is going to think like them. They just absolutely cannot open their eyes to the fact that other people's experiences and beliefs might lead them to a different opinion than the one they themselves have. They drive around with Southern flags on their cars. They make racist jokes. They kick women out of football press boxes because "I've never met a woman who knows anything about football." They dislike anyone who doesn't think that the rest of the world is envious of Texans. They call you a Yankee if you grew up North of the Red River. They tell you that you're stupid because you didn't go to their University of choice. And they don't understand people who don't act the same way.

Now, Texans who read this post are thinking, "That's an exaggeration," "They were probably joking" or "That wouldn't happen." All of those things happened to me when I lived in Texas. And, no, people were not always joking.

I am of the belief that opinions are not right or wrong. They just are. Our experiences and personalities shape those opinions and not everyone is going to go through life with exactly the same experiences. Thus, not everyone will have the same opinions. Thank God! I don't think that people who let their religion guide them to some interesting opinions are uneducated. I think they've had a different set of life experiences to lead them to those beliefs. I don't believe that four white men who grew up middle class in a large Texas city and went to the same University can decide the best song of the 90s and expect that their opinion will apply to all of America. I don't think that because someone didn't go to college that they aren't as smart as me. I don't think that some television shows, for example, are just inherently better than others and all people with good taste just know that. I don't think that I'm superior to anyone because of the color of my skin, and I certainly don't think that an appendige hanging below your belly button qualifies you to talk about sports. I think that everyone's opinions are what make them unique and special. I think everyone should embrace the ways that they differ from others.

That being said, I don't blame people who think that their opinion is the only one out there. I don't blame people who can't understand how someone can think differently from them because that's all they know. People who live in Texas their whole lives and don't do a lot of traveling will meet mostly people who think exactly as they do. They have no reason to learn about other cultures or beliefs. They have no reason not to think that people who are different are just wrong and crazy. I just choose not to live there because that's not the way I think.

I got tired of sitting at a table listening to people tell me that I was stupid because I disagreed with them. I got tired of having people tell me that my University was inferior. I got tired of being treated in a way that would have made a Texan furious had I treated him or her that same way in return. I got tired of smiling politely at racist jokes. I got tired of pretending that I think all Muslims will go to hell. I got tired of pretending to be someone that I wasn't. It was hard for me to understand how people could be so sensitive when you criticized their beliefs but had no problem criticizing yours and then wondering why you got so upset about it. It's as if they just can't grasp that people are different and that's OK.

So I moved to a place where I was told everyone is accepted for who they are because everyone is so different and diverse. I like it better. That's just me. I don't think that all Texans are bad or that it's a horrible place where no one should ever go. I don't think that anyone who wants to live is crazy. I just think that it's not the place for me. I hate it. I don't want to live there again. That's my opinion. If it's different than yours, that's OK.

The One With Tales from Texas

Well, I just returned from my week-long trip to Texas. Of course, the trip takes almost two weeks because there are four days worth of driving. But I'd much rather drive with my dogs than fly without them, so it's worth. Too bad Ross doesn't have more vacation time. We end up spending all of our vacations visiting people instead of vacationing to new place. I know you all are just filled with questions, so I've decided to answer the most common ones here.

How are the dogs in the car?
Excellent. My dogs have always been good in the car because I've been taking them on six hour drives to my parents' farm since they were puppies. Chubbs gets a little queasy, but we give them ginger snaps to settle their stomachs. Muggsy gets a little nervous, but I think we've all learned that there's no cure for that.

Were Ross' parents surprised?
Yes, the surprise went really well. We were greeted with, "What are you doing here?" but I think they meant it in a good way. :) They were really thrilled and we had a very good time with them. I think Ross' dad is always glad to have new people to listen to his stories and everything makes Ross' mom happy.

Did you get to see the rest of Ross' family?
Yes, we went to Austin on Saturday to spend the evening with Ross' brother and his new girlfriend and Ross' sister and her family. She has three children that we haven't seen since we moved. Her youngest has grown from 8 months to 3, so that's a pretty big change. It was great to see all of them, and yes, I even played with the children.

How was Muggsy?
Well, understandably, Muggsy had a hard time. He's very good with Ross' parents and their dog now, but any type of change in his environment really stresses him out. I continued to give him lots of exercise and even took him on a socialization outing. By the end of the trip, he was responding well to being called off of fence-fighting with the neighbor's obnoxious beage. However, things went downhill with the trip to Austin. Ross' brother's dog, Bauer, was very dominant and antagonistic, which is very subtle behavior. Since most people don't read dog language for a living, no one but Ross and I could see how mean Bauer was being and no one was very sympathetic to how hard the situation was for Muggsy. This, of course, hurt my feelings, and Muggsy and I spent the last part of the evening holed away in the bedroom away from everyone. Once we got back to San Antonio, it was downhill as Muggsy attacked Chubbs on our last day there. He attacked him again tonight, too, since he hasn't really calmed down from the trip.

Did Chubbs really kill a bird?
Well, not exactly. Big, clumsy Chubbs has graduated from a fly-killer to a bird-killer. He was able to catch a dove in Ross' parent's yard. I didn't actually see it, but I could hear Ross and his dad yelling for Chubbs to drop it. Apparently, he caught it by surprise and instead of trying to fly, it tried to hide. Chubbs grabbed it, but when everyone started yelling at him to drop it, he did. Then, Fenway grabbed it and started chewing on it. When they called her off it, the bird was still alive but died soon after. So technically, Chubbs and Fenway did kill a bird. It died of injuries sustained during its capture.

Did you do anything besides visit family?
Yes, we went to the Riverwalk, which I have only seen once, after the Sweet 16 when I was a senior in college, and we visited the zoo. I love to visit zoos and do this in pretty much every city I visit. The San Antonio Zoo was nice. It had a lot of great animals, including a grizzly with a lot of personality and a couple of sea otters who kept sticking their heads out the fence at us, but it wasn't laid out very well, which made it confusing. We also visited a couple of excellent barbecue places. As you all know, the Midwest is known for its barbecue, and California just doesn't have anything in the area of decent barbecue, so I love to eat that as much as possible when I get back home. In fact, Ross' parents think the only thing I eat is meat, which couldn't be further from the truth. But we went to some place in San Antonio that had excellent brisket, though the pulled pork was lacking, and we ordered from a place in Austin that had good sausage. The brisket was too salty. That was a definite highlight. I love good barbecue.

Did you get to see any of your friends from Dallas?
Actually, most of my friends have left Dallas, but my best friend from Texas had a wedding to attend and couldn't make it. My college roommate lives in Dallas, but I didn't think he'd want to make the trip. We didn't really have time to spend with friends because the trip was about Ross' family. But two of Ross' best friends from college came to see us, which was great. It was just a short lunch, but it's always nice to see old friends -- and meet new ones as I had never met one of these friends.

Did you get a speeding ticket?
Surprisingly no. I did have one cop flash his lights at me, but I didn't have to donate a sizeable chunk of money to Sonora County, like I did last time I was in Texas.

Did anything exciting happen at your job while you were gone?
No. The Boards continue to bicker and they announced that we would all know which District we would be working for, if we still have a job, by July 1. I hope that we'll find out sooner. Before I left, I had met with some of the people from the District closer to my home, expressing interest. However, I think the District that will be farther away will be a better job. Especially with all of the drama that has unfolded since I returned. I'm still looking for other jobs, though. I don't think I'll ever like working for either of these Districts. The good news is that lately, I've been able to maintain a sense of humor about it. :)

Will you ever move back to Texas?
Decidedly no. Ross' parents are tired of us living so far away. You could tell. They kept making comments and putting on the hard sell for a move back to San Antonio. "The weather is nice here." "There are jobs here." Admittedly, if I ever had to move back to Texas, it would be San Antonio. I have lived in Dallas and visited Houston and Austin, and San Antonio is definitely my favorite. But being in Texas for a week reminds me that I don't want to be in Texas. I was very clear with Ross that I never wanted to live in Texas again, and he still wants to be with me. I never pretended to like it. When I lived there, everyone used to say to me, "Well, then, don't let the door hit you on the way out." I didn't. And I don't want to open that door again. Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Geller. It's just not going to happen. Maybe I'll move closer, but don't hold your breath.

All in all, it was a good time. But I'm very glad to be home and back in my daily routine. I hope to start posting more regularly again now. What about you, Mon?