The One With the Two-Year Anniversary

Some time last week, Robby and I celebrated our two-year anniversary. We're not really clear on what the day is -- could be the first time we talked about dating, the first date, the first time we spent the night together (not slept together, though, so get your mind out of the gutter -- my mom reads this, after all :). All of these things happened the last week of October two years ago. So we celebrate it the last Saturday of the month.

This year, I was sick, and leave it to Texas to ruin my anniversary dinner. We had 6 p.m. reservations at this Brazilian steakhouse I really like. Texas is playing Oklahoma State. It starts at 4. This is the worst team in the Big 12, so it should be well over by 6. Nope. At 6, I've called to have the reservation pushed back to 8 and I'm sitting on the couch eating cereal next to the poutiest guy in California. Great. Of course Texas came back and won. Everyone knew they were going to, except the guy sitting next to me, who was grouchy even after they won because it might affect their standing in the BCS poll. But once I reminded him that there were more important things in life than football, he finally calmed down so we could enjoy the evening.

Though I missed it because I was working an all-day event, another great thing happened on Saturday -- Kansas beat Missouri yet again. It shouldn't be a surprise. We own them. But it's so strange to me that a team with an offense as bad as Kansas' could outscore an offense run by Brad Smith. I was flooded with text messages from my friends at the game. You gotta love a good win over your archrival. Good times. My junior-year roommate just sent me the funniest picture that her friend took at the game of the back of the person's shirt who was sitting in front of him. It said, "A boy walked into kindergarten wearing a KU hat. His teacher said, "Why do you like KU?" The little boy said, "Because my parents do." (Boy, Mon, our kids are going to be so confused. :) The teacher said, "That's not a good reason. What if your parents were hookers and drug dealers?" And the kid said, "Then, I'd be a Missouri fan." Good stuff. Gotta get my hands on one of those shirts, though no one would really get it in Cali.

By the way, I had a good Dad memory this weekend. I've been really depressed about him the last week as you all know because we've discussed it, but I spent all weekend trying to remember a happy childhood moment with him in it and came up with this one. Remember, Mon, Mandy and Goldie? We saw these two stuffed Golden retrievers at the store and we really wanted them, but they were $12 each, a lot for our families at the time. Then, when we got home, my dad said, "Girls, I want you to carry in these bags," and he handed us each a shopping bag with a stuffed Golden retriever in it. Mandy and Goldie. That was a really sweet surprise.

The One With A Little Bit of Sports Talk

I'm usually pretty far behind on my sports news because I'm so busy, but I started watching SportsCenter in the mornings during breakfast, and I caught some football while making some relaxation time for myself this weekend. I have just a couple of thoughts.

I feel sorry for Astros closer, Lidge. Everyone's making it sound like he alone cost the Astros the game against the White Sox and the loss in the NLCS, but come on, it's a team sport. If the defense would have held the opposition to fewer points earlier in the game or the offense had scored more runs, those homeruns wouldn't have mattered. I realize that he made a mistake, but to put it all on his shoulders is a little dramatic.

I also feel sorry for Brett Favre. The poor guy is just trying to play out his career because he loves the game, and his team is terrible. Not only did he lose his top receiver for the season but he just lost his running back for the season as well. If this is his last season, what a sucky way to go out.

God really has a sense of humor, doesn't he? He told me, OK, I'll get you out of Texas, but for the first two years that you live there, I'm going to make Texas one of the top teams in the country and bring all those Texans to your town to watch the Rose Bowl. Very funny, God. I'm laughing. Really.

This isn't sports, but I also saw on the ticker that Rosa Parks died today. I wonder if she got to see a world that she was proud to live in. I know that it's much improved since she was younger and refused to give up her seat on the bus, but how far have we really come? Especially if she lived in the South her whole life, I'm sure she still dealt with a good deal of racism. I saw quite a bit of it in Texas.

This also isn't sports, but it's related because it deals with too much testosterone. Why do men think they're so cool when they show off their cars? I just realized that this story isn't going to make sense to people who haven't driven in Southern California without a little background. When you get on the access roads to get on the freeway, in So. Cal., we have lights and only one car can get on the freeway at a time. So I'm right behind this guy in a brand new Lexus who decides that when it's his turn he's going to burn rubber, swerve a little and take off. Did this make him more attractive to me? Um, no. Did I suddenly have an uncontrollable urge to sleep with him? Definitely not. I mean, really, guys, you're not impressing us. Just drive, please.

The One Where I've Gone Soft

"I blame you," one of my best friends, Mindy, told me on the phone this week. Now, this isn't unusual since she blames me for most of her poor life choices, particularly a party in college when she told me to keep her from hooking up with one guy while at the same time keeping the guy she wanted to hook up with from hooking up with another girl. While I was pulling the guy she wanted to kiss from the girl he liked, we found her in the back yard, making out with the guy she wanted me to keep her from hooking up with. Now how was I supposed to be two places at one time??? Don't know. But she still blames me.

However, this time I wasn't sure what she could possibly be blaming me for. She's having some trouble with a guy who I have never met who is really messing with her (one day he's hooking up with her, the next day he just wants to be friends, the next day he ignores her). So I asked, "How is this my fault."

"You've gone soft," she said. "In the past, you'd be all screw him, men suck, forget him. But now you're all, why don't you talk to him, tell him how you feel."

I couldn't believe it!! Yes, I've found one of the good ones. And I'm certainly very happy in my relationship and have rethought the notion that all men suck. But I'm not so soft that I don't realize how much dating sucks or that I don't know that MOST men still do suck.

But the more I thought about it the more I realized that she was right. I'm a lot more optimistic about relationships now and I'm not always finding men's motives to be evil, even though they usually are, because Ross' motives are always 100% genuine and kind. Mon reconfirmed it last night when before I even told her this story, she told me, "I think you've lost some of your edge." I guess that's the consensus.

I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I guess it depends on who you are. For Mindy, it's probably a bad thing that I can no longer commiserate with her about how terrible men are. I was probably a lot more fun when I was dating around and calling to talk about the guy(s) I was dating at the time. I've always found men and the games they try to play more funny than frustrating. But I've certainly been screwed over and I guess it's the bitterness that I'm now lacking. For me, though, despite the embarrassment of being considered soft, it's probably a good thing that I'm no longer bitter. I have someone wonderful and I don't have anything to complain about anymore. The only time I ever complain to Mindy, it's when Ross is being obnoxious during a Texas football game. And I'm sure that deep down inside, she's happy for me, even though she'd never say it.

Speaking of sweet, the last of my birthday present finished Friday night with an Eagles concert in Anaheim. Even though we were in the absolute last row, it was a great show. I always love a good, old-fashioned rock-and-roll show. They played for three hours and did a lot of their solo stuff, which is good because I love Don Henley almost as much as I love the Eagles. And it's always fun to people-watch, especially in Southern California. The most amusing thing to me was how no one seemed to have lighters to hold up during the slow songs. It was the perfect concert for that since the first hour of the concert was pretty mellow and they concluded the show with "Desparado," the ultimate lighter song. I guess it's because not as many people in Southern California smoke and have no need to carry lighters. But I discovered that there's another reason to carry a lighter to a concert when you live in LA. I watched a girl hold her lighter up so another girl could fix her makeup. I about died laughing. If it's too dark to see your makeup, who cares what it looks like? I guess I'll never quite get used to that way of thinking. :) But it was a great time, and I'm really glad I got to see them in concert.

Now, my Chronikah present will begin. Ross bought me tickets to the Lakers-Bulls, Lakers-Sonics, Clippers-Spurs and Clippers-Celtics game. Though I know I don't have to explain why these games, I will. Kirk Hinrich plays for the Bulls, Nick Collison plays for the Sonics, Paul Pierce and Raef LaFrentz play for the Celtics and the Spurs are my favorite team. These are all the teams I cheer for (you should hear Ross teasing me about how many teams I have) along with the Cavaliers (Drew Gooden), Heat (Wayne Simien), Knicks (Aaron Miles), Hawks (Jacque Vaughn) and Pacers (Scott Pollard). The last two players I didn't go to school with, so they're less important, but I now have tickets to see all of my favorite ex-Jayhawks. I can't wait!!

Can't you see why I'm not bitter? :)

The One With Football and Politics

Two things today that made me laugh. The first one is the morning SportsCenter guy saying, "There are going to be points and pretty girls in even numbers in Austin this weekend," when he was previewing the Texas-Texas Tech game. I was cracking up. What? The other is this link that the coolest person I've met in California sent me this morning. She said, "This would be funny if it weren't so true." Look through it if you're a Democrat. It's pretty funny.

www.thefrown.com/frowners/becomerepublican.swf

The One With the Best of Me

You all have heard the expression, getting the best of someone. It means that you've fooled them or taken advantage of them in some way. But I heard a song on the radio that I think has a new perspective on that saying. Is someone getting the best of you, meaning are you giving the best of yourself in the things that you do. I was thinking about that yesterday, that I need to try harder to give the people that are very important to me the best that I have to give. Sometimes, I think I don't do that.

You know, I could mail everyone's birthday presents on time. How hard would that be? I could spend more time shopping and find the perfect gift. When my mom comes to visit, I could spend more time coming up with fun things to do instead of entertaining her by watching college football and jogging on the beach. (I did have a great time with her, though. I'm glad she came to visit.) I could call my friends more often instead of waiting for them to call me. I could pay more compliments to my friends so that they know that I care about them. These are all things I'm going to try harder to do.

I'm also going to try harder to get out of bed at 5:30 -- I slept in again this morning -- to take the dogs out running. I took Muggsy back to the beach that I got special permission to run on last night. We went about a mile, but we only jogged 1/4 of it. I stopped when he was consistently trying to pull me back toward the car. It's weird being hooked up to him like a musher, but he's starting to get the hang of the pulling. I can't wait until we're in better shape.

I got another behavior assessment yesterday, and it basically said to keep doing the things I have been doing. No new suggestions to help me keep going. He's had blowups every two days since coming off the medication, mostly over his crate. I can't decide if I'm going to take it away from him or not. I really like the way that he just climbs into it when he's getting stressed about the neighbor dogs barking (they bark all day!!) instead of barking back. I'm just not sure what to do about that one. I still think the best course of action is to stay off medication though. It just makes me more comfortable, and it seems like the goods aren't outweighing the bads for him either.

As for Chubbs, we are going to spend a lot of time focusing on focus. I took him to be the neutral dog at the Canine Good Citizen test Tuesday night and wouldn't stop staring at the other dogs. I realized I hadn't done enough heelwork with him to get him to focus on me when he's in the heel position. Since I'm going to get him Canine Good Citizen certified in this next class period, I'm going to get a head start on that. Once I do that, he'll be Level 1 therapy certified and can go to nursing homes and schools and stuff. I think he'd be great for that program where the kids read to dogs. After that, I'm taking him to agility class. I think that will be so fun!!

I have very little motivation to work today. I hate it when you don't really like your job, so nothing is driving you to go to work and give it your best. But I guess I'd better get back at it. Hope you all have a wonderful day.

The One with My 27th Birthday!

I LOVE my birthday! How could anyone get depressed over a birthday? It's your special day, all about you, AND you get presents! What's not to love?

This morning started with David and Chandler giving me my birthday presents. David made me a beautiful red card, which he had decorated with stickers and written "Happy Birthday Mama" with markers. (Now the only letter he can write is "o" but he translated it for me. And he does write in lines left to right across a page. The kid is a genius!) Inside the card was my first present, three tickets to an Amy Ray concert this Sunday at the Bottleneck! Chandler, Deborah and I are going to go, which will be so fun! Amy Ray is 1/2 of the Indigo Girls. She's released a couple of albums on her own.

My second present David picked out all by himself. Chandler had told me that whatever David picked out, I had to wear. So I was a little nervous. Turns out my kid has pretty good taste! Of course, you can't go too wrong at the GAP! He got me a pink, ribbed turtleneck and some tan courderoy pants. Both are very cute. I wore the turtleneck, but Chandler got the wrong size pants. He got the short length. Doesn't he know I have freakishly long limbs? :)



Now at work, whenever someone has a birthday or special event, we do a "food day" where everyone brings delicious treats. Usually we decorate their desk and Amanda always gets a balloon. I get to work conveniently late this mronig, but there's no balloon! There's no chocolate! There's no "Happy Birthday!" I was so sad! I thought they had forgotten me!

Then at about 10 am, Jill came over and asked for my help with something. When I came back there were all of the above! Tons of cookies, cake, and brownies! Two cards and a Winnie the Pooh balloon! They totally got me. What fun work friends I have! :) And my regular friends didn't forget me either, both Rachel and Janice sent me birthday wishes. (Don't worry Rach, you sent them first! And yours was better, of course.) Even Ang sent me an e-card.

Tonight David and I are going to make a cake together and exchange my pants. He has pictures on Friday, and I need to get a shirt to go under the sweater I bought him. See, my birthday is perfect, it even has shopping! So thanks to everyone for making my birthday so great ... and it's only noon! Love, Monica

The One With My Final Seminar

Whew, this has been a long week, but I have learned so much. My final seminar was excellent, as were the first two. This presentor really thinks outside the box, which I love because I really need some of those strange ideas for my training toolbox. And I realized how much of my boss' ideas come from this guy. He's British, so his culture is very different, but he has some very interesting ideas about treating dogs.

For example, he has a profile of the type of person to create each type of aggression in dogs. A person with a dog-dog aggressive dog, which I could never be, is the type of owner who gets a second dog as a pet for their first dog because they don't have enough time for their first dog. Then, the two dogs bond to each other and don't really listen to the humans in their house because the second dog especially doesn't have a relationship with the owner. There's much more to it than that, but he can predict the family conditions once he hears what type of aggression the owner is calling about.

I, apparently, fit the profile of someone who would have a human-aggressive dog. See if you all thinks this fits. A person with a human aggressive dog is over-bonded with her dog. She doesn't want the dog to form bonds with other people so she is the primary caregiver and doesn't let her dog spend lots of time with other people. I mean, does that sound like me? I don't think so. :) OK, maybe a little.

But don't go thinking that I'm the only thing that caused Muggsy's aggression. One of the things we discussed at length in this seminar was that the dog's temperment is determined by the time they are six weeks old. If your dog is going to be a resource guarder or timid or aggressive later in life, those pathways are set by the time they are six weeks old. That's the end of the imprint phase. So a dog who isn't handled by a human by the time it's three weeks old will always be suspicious of humans. Even if you get a puppy from a shelter, you are at risk for the type of dog you are going to get. You have to really know the breeder and know that they are properly interacting with the dog. I could explain a lot of things to you in depth about what to ask your breeder, but I won't go into all that here. However, I find it fascinating. And if any of you are planning to get a puppy soon, drop me an e-mail so I can give you some advice.

While this was only a four day seminar, we also discussed how to fix some problems in dogs. I got a couple of great new techniques for pulling on the leash that I'm going to try with my dogs. There's one that I think will work really well with Muggsy (because it's for a dog that the owner has a very good relationship with and I think we've already established that I'm over-bonded with my dog) and one that I think will work better with Chubbs, who my relationship is not as strong with. However, I think all the individual work I've done with him since I've been a dog trainer has prevented him from becoming dog aggressive. But he definitely fits the profile as a dog who, left to his own devices, could become dog aggressive.

I learned some excellent information about preventing resource guarding that I'm going to share with all puppy owners I have in class from here on out, too. You can detect it and fix it in a very simple way before it actually becomes a problem, and I think this is information that all puppy owners need. I have a pitt puppy in one of my classes this time around and I gave him a lot of information on preventing future problems and reading dog body language. Because of all the dog killings in Northern California right now, you have no room for error with a pitt. And this guy is so dedicated to his dog that I really want him to get off to the right start. I let his dog play with Chubbs for awhile and just explained to him how to read his dog's language to determine what was play and what were potential warning signals. If they take the time to learn, that information can be so important to puppy owners. He also has a great idea for a puppy class that I'm going to talk to my boss about letting me do when I'm a full-time dog trainer. I think right now I have my hands full with my two jobs and extensive treatment plan for Muggsy, which I'm going to start as soon as I get my muzzle back from the shop.

I also got a few ideas for Muggsy. With fear aggression, he said, you want to fix the aggression before the fear. So many times, people try to fix the fear that's causing the aggression and then what you have is a confident, aggressive dog. So you want to teach your dog that it's fear is OK. I wish I would have known that when Muggsy was a puppy because I'm sure I encouraged him to do things that made him nervous while attempting to make him more social. What you need to teach is that it's OK to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation. I've done that to some degree by teaching him and Chubbs both to go to their crates when they are feeling uncomfortable. Another thing you can do is put everything that is important to Muggsy's survival -- his water bowl, food, favorite toys, treats -- on a shelf away from the door. So every day, several times a day, everyone in the family has to walk by the door to the shelf to get him things. Soon, that will be his favorite area. Then, when someone comes over, he can go to that spot, where he's comfortable. Strangers are never allowed in that area.

Also, a great idea, that I'm going to start using to some degree is that everything essential to the dog's survival comes from people outside the home. So people from outside the home feed him, bring him his bed at night, bring him toys and treats, etc. He doesn't get anything from those who live in the house. When guests come over, they bring their own treats and toys for the dog. That way, they are bringing resources to the area, not depleting it of its resources. What good does it do to give the dog something that anyone in the home could give him if you weren't there. Strangers have to enrich the environment instead of just deplete resources. No animal wants outsiders coming into their pack and depleting the resources by eating the food, drinking the water, using the furniture etc. Next time I have company, I'm definitely having them bring something for the dogs. It's such a good idea.

There was so much to learn at this seminar that I can't even begin to talk about it all. I wish I could attend his four-day aggression seminar, but it's in North Carolina, and I can't travel that far. But I learned so much. I think after this week, I'm a much better dog trainer.

The other great thing that came out of this seminar was that I met an agility instructor that does classes right by my house. I've really been wanting to learn to teach agility and he invited me to come to some of his classes on Sunday afternoons. I'm even going to take Chubbs through the basic level classes. I know he'll never really be able to compete, but it will be fun for us to have a special activity. And at the last seminar I was at, the presentor suggested that I do agility lessons with Muggsy in a private setting where he could just run and not have to deal with other people and dogs. I think instead, I'm going to buy some cheap agility equipment and set up a small course in my yard. Then I can practice with all three dogs based on what I learn with Chubbs. Chubbs will still have his special time with me in class, but I can also get the other two dogs another outlet for their energy. I'm really excited about this -- especially since it's close to my house!!

So tomorrow, I'm back to work. But I have an all-day seminar!! Isn't that funny? I can't escape it. But I have to go now because I have a ton of cleaning to do before Pheobe gets here Wednesday.

The One with the $200

Since Chandler doesn't post things, I'll have to tell this one for him. He's worked at his new job since January of this year, and so far, hasn't hadn't any conflicts. The office is run by a husband and wife team who own it. They have about 8 architects working for them. Then there's an admin/receptionist/accountant/payroll woman who takes care of everything else. We'll call her B, for reasons to become obvious is a minute.

Last Monday was payday. His boss (the woman, who he mainly works for and gets along with fine) pulled him into her office and says that B has a problem with how he gets there at 8:45 but reflects 8 hours on his time sheet. Could he please just put exactly what he works. Turns out that B had gone into the man's office and complained that Chandler gets there late and isn't putting down the correct time. So they printed out a copy of his timesheet for the last period and REDLINED IT! Like went through and marked it up for when they thought he had actually worked! This is totally ridiculous b/c Chandler always works his 8 hours. If he gets there late then he stays late or eats a working lunch. He often works an hour or two of overtime at home and doesn't turn that in. And recently he worked like 20-40 hours of overtime a week to get a project done. He doesn't have to answer to this woman and it really pissed both him off that she went behind his back and made this demand. But at the time that his boss pulled him in, he was just like ok, fine.

THEN when he got his check it was $200 less than usual!!! You know, every paycheck is the exact same, plus whatever overtime he worked that period. This one was $200 less! Now, that may not be a big deal to some folks, but this little family lives paycheck to paycheck and we need each and every dollar (to support my ridiculous shopping habit ;).

So the next day he went in to talk to his boss about it and she explained that it was because of this conversation between B and the man. He said, if anything, his vacation time should be hit. And that when they redlined his timesheet they were indicating that he was cheating them which is simply not true. She apologized and said it wouldn't happened again and that she would take care of it. So she gets him a check later for the $200, and they've hit his vacation time for 10 hours! Now, 3.5 hours he was gone b/c he went with David on a class fieldtrip to the zoo. But the other 6.5 were apparently b/c he's sooo late everyday? He was really ticked off. She said that she needed to talk to him later in private, but still has not made time to do that.

What have we learned from this? 1. Apparently B runs things around there, even thought she's the receptionist. 2. Chandler now reports his time like this: 12:42 Returned from client meeting. 12:43 Began correcting redlines on UMKC project. You get the idea. Bury the bitch in so much detail she'll regret having ever said a word. 3. It's ok for a smoker to leave 3 times a day for at least 15 minutes. It is not ok to be 15 minutes late b/c you take your kid to school in the mornings. My personal opinion is who cares what time you're there or when you leave as long as you get your shit done and do a good job. That's how you keep good people. You lose them when you take $200 out of their paycheck and don't even have the courtesy to have a conversation with them about it.

The One With My Second Seminar

This post could also be called, The One Where I Bit the Bullet and Put My Dog on Display for All to See because that's what happened at the second seminar. Before I tell you what happened, let me just say that dog people are extremely judgmental and condescending as a group. I'm on several yahoo trainers groups and there are constant fights about everything from training philosophy to breeding. No one ever thinks they're wrong or are being hurtful in their comments but everyone else is, of course. It's quite frustrating when I'm on those lists to learn. But when the organizer of the seminar sent out an e-mail asking for demo dogs, for some reason, I didn't hesitate. I always want to hear what the greatest minds in training think I should be doing with Muggsy because someone might think of something no one else has thought of. I don't know why it didn't occur to me until the presentor said, "Melinda, we'll have you bring in Muggsy after this break. Come up here and sit in the front. First, I'm going to interview you for a behavior assessment, then we're going to observe Muggsy," that I was really putting myself out there for a lot of hurtful criticism. (Afterward, my boss would tell me that she was really, really worried about me doing this.) I could feel the panic rising.

The presentation was done very well. The presentor told everyone to remember how hard this must be for me and to put themselves in my shoes and not judge. She then said she'd be the only one asking questions. No one interacted with Muggsy because he was too anxious and giving people hard stares to stay away from him, but she had some very good suggestions for me.

First of all, she said he needed an outlet for all his anxious energy. She recommended that I buy a ski-jor harness, which is a bungy that hooks from my waist to Muggsy. I should then muzzle him and drive him out to the desert and just let him run until he's exhausted where we don't encounter any people, or when we do, we see them from far enough away that we can get off the trail. She wants me to do it three times a week, but I think twice is all that I'll reasonably have time for. But I'm also going to start muzzling him in the mornings and taking him for an hour-long jog. This will be harder for me than anything because I hate running and will have to condition myself as well. She suggested that I move to a more quiet area :) and nip the barking in the bud by using mild corrections such as sharp words or squirting water to the face when he can't see that it's me. She also wanted me to quit feeding him except when he's working for his food and start freeshaping behaviors so that he starts offering behaviors when I have treats instead of looking at all the scary people around him.

Freeshaping is a little hard to explain, but you basically watch the dog for behaviors you want to reward. For example, if I want Muggsy to look at me, I would wait for him to even slightly turn his head toward me. Then I would say my reward word, good, and give a treat. Then, I'd wait for him to turn it farther. Eventually, it would build up to rewarding him for looking at me. In many sessions, he should start offering that because he's been rewarded for it. When he's readily offering it, I'd put it on cue. You can teach very complicated behaviors, such as opening the fridge and bringing you a beer, this way. It's supposed to be a more powerful way of learning because you aren't telling them what to do. You're rewarding them for things they've decided to do on their own. I've never tried it with Muggsy, but I think it will be fun.

Anyway, after the presentation was over, everyone came up to me and offered me little pieces of help. One woman told me a good place within an hour of me that I could take Muggsy to run. One woman printed a list of tricks I could teach Muggsy and let me read her trick-training book over lunch. Several of the women came up to me and told me how brave I was to do that and how much they admired me. One woman came up to me and said, "I hope you don't think we were back there judging you. We were all saying how much we admire you for working with this dog." I don't think these are any compliments to me or anything. I think my love for Muggsy shines through when I talk. There's an openness and vulnerability to loving someone that you just can't hide. And I think people can relate to that. It brings out the best in them. I was in a room full of judgemental people and didn't get one comment, or even look, that made me feel bad. Everyone was completely supportive, and that was a very nice feeling.

Now, I know you're probably thinking that this new training plan sounds like a lot of work. It really worried Ross because he, for some reason, thinks I spread myself too thin and don't take time to relax. But I think that if I take off work early on Wednesdays and then leave my Sunday mornings open for this, and I can work the running into my schedule. And I'll just get up an hour earlier every day. I haven't been sleeping well lately, and maybe the exercise will be good for me. Plus, I need to work with the dogs more anyway and this will be fun. If I have to cut back on something else to make room for this, I will. This is what moms do. And no matter what your feelings on dogs vs. human children, I'm a mom, and I'll do what it takes.

Muggsy spent most of the last two days in a crate with a blanket over it because he was barking at everything. But what impressed me about his behavior this weekend was that in the hotel, he was very non-reactive. There were lots of doors slamming and people talking all through the night. He used to be very reactive in hotels, but last night, he didn't make a peep. He was probably tired and stressed, but I think it's a good sign. It means he's getting better in new places. Here, he can't be expected to make changes that quickly. If I were trying to work on calming my temper, which I've done and know how hard it is still, the best place for me to do that would not be Arlington. It just wouldn't. I have too much baggage and bad feelings toward it. However, if you take me to a new environment, I'm getting better and better. I don't think that this house, where Muggsy has already established a reactive pattern, is going to be a place where he noticeably improves. However, he's improving in new situations, and I think that's great.

The rest of the seminar went well, too. It was very interesting. This is the same presentor that talked about dog body language and Lug Nuts on Saturday, and she talked about her shelter temperment test -- how to identify aggression in a dog without necessarily seeing growling etc. so we aren't adopting out aggressive dogs to the public. It was very moving and enlightening, and I can see how hard it would be to work in a shelter full-time, deciding which dogs get adopted and which dogs die. It would be brutal. But as someone who was adopted a dog that shouldn't have been put out to the public, it's hard to get a dog that isn't fit to live with the average family. Now, I'm not the average family, and Muggsy has made a huge and positive impact on my life. But he's not the dog for everyone. I came away from this seminar with a much better idea of how to read dogs. And I know I won't be making the same mistakes in the next dogs that come into my life.

But I will be eternally grateful for the dog who got placed in my life. One of the questions the presentor likes to ask is "Why did you select this dog?" It's still easy for me to answer -- the look of love in his eyes when I walked in his crate at the shelter. I still see that look every day, and as long as I do, he's worth every bit of effort I put into him.

Now, I'm back in L.A. and have another seminar for the next four days. This guy is supposed to be excellent as well. He created the abandonment training that I used to keep Muggsy from attacking Chubbs. I'm looking forward to that, too.

And if anyone is more curious about Muggsy's part in the seminar, it was all recorded, and I should have the DVD in two weeks. I'm very excited to re-watch and see the interactions again.

The One With My First Seminar

Today, I had my first of eight days of seminars, and it was fabulous. I was attending a Biting Dog Conference with several speakers, but the main one today is the one I'm going to see two days of later this week, the one who will be using Muggsy as a demo dog. After today, I'm very excited to see her.

She talked a lot about detecting aggression in dogs before the initial signs that most people can detect. It was very enlightening, and I know I will be watching my own dogs much more carefully. She discussed going from saying, "I just got a funny feeling," to noticing the signals that are giving you that feeling. She wants us to view dog training as much more scientific to take the emotions out of it since when you're dealing with a dog that you know in your heart should not be with people you make excuses for the dog and explanations for his actions when really you are seeing a very dangerous dog.

The greatest thing I thought she talked about was a program she has begun in Harlem called Lug Nuts. She knows it's very hard to reach people in poor areas who buy bully breeds and refuse to neuter them so they are creating almost a race of very dangerous dogs that roam the inner cities. Instead of reasoning with them, she came up with an alternative to street fighting called Lug Nuts. She holds contests in Harlem where she has dogs harnessed to weights and has weight pulling contests with cash prizes. The beauty of this is that it's natural for the bully breeds and you have to food lure them to get them to pull -- it can be coerced with force -- so they have to use positive training. But here's the best part -- cash prizes double if the dog is neutered!! Positive training with the people, too. It's excellent. My boss and I are ready to get this started here, though I'm sure you all aren't thrilled to hear that I'll be hanging out in Compton soon. :)

She went on to talk about how much she has changed her perception of things since working with inner city people. She had a couple of wonderful examples when explaining that most of these people, despite popular belief, hate it that their dog is aggressive to people. One guy had a very dangerous dog, but he won a lot of the contests and his dog was neutered, so it was double prize money. She overheard him telling someone that he was saving the money for his education. I swear, that brought tears to my eyes. Another story was a guy who had a very aggressive dog who lunged at her while she was explaining how to put on the harness, he bent over and a crack vile fell out of his pocket. She decided not to mention it, since he didn't notice, and was going to pick it up later. When she went to grab it, she realized it was prescription ashma medication. She said she couldn't explain how bad she felt that she had stereotyped that kid that way. It was a great example of what I said a couple of posts ago about how much you change when you open your mind to other ways of life that you aren't familiar with. We all have prejudices and stereotypes. It's natural. I can't fault anyone for that. But I think it's our responsibility to get out and expose ourselves to things that could shatter our perceptions. Often, they do. And I think it's wonderful that she can admit what her prejudices are and that she was wrong. I can't wait to spend two more days learning from her. I think it will be wonderful.

But that's all for now. I have an aggressive dog to deal with. I just "got a feeling" (whites of the eyes, widened pupils, defensive body posture) that Muggsy was about to attack Chubbs. What do you know -- stopped him just in time. I confined him, and now I should go spend time with him.