The One With the Weirdness

This week on my dashboard, I saw something I'd never seen: a 9 by Outside Temp. My new car has a gauge that tells me the outside temperature, and out here, that never seems to go above the 80s. However, this week, the Santa Anas are coming in, and it's been in the 90s. California does this weird thing where right before "winter," it gets really hot. My co-worker says, "When it's getting so hot that you're having nose bleeds, you know that winter's almost here." People who live in Southern California are wimps. They're always complaining that it's either too hot or too cold and it's never too hot or too cold. :)

Anyway, Muggsy had another blowup yesterday. It was very short, but he growled at me when I asked him to do a down while I was eating. He immediately apologized, but it's still weird. I'm weaning him off the meds the next two weeks, so hopefully, he'll be back on track once all this weird stuff gets out of his system.

I hope to write more this week since I'm off work to go to dog conferences. I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to hear the new training techniques I'll be learning. :)

The One With Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Allow me one more post while I dwell on my high school reunion before I return to my favorite topic -- Muggsy. Trying to be polite, I have exchanged several e-mails with Julie (GILL) Richardson, as she will be forever known in my mind. (Since I don't plan to take my husband's last name, when I finally have one, I have decided to start capitalizing my own last name, effective immediately.) Anyway, in my effort to be kind, I responded to her e-mail about how happy she is to be married to her high school sweetheart and working as a stay-home mother by saying, "I'm so happy for you and Bill. I've changed so much since I was in high school. I can't imagine being with the same guy through all that, so I'm really happy for you that you've made it." She responded by saying, "It's interesting you should say that because I haven't changed. I'm the same ole me."

I'm sorry, but of course she is! She hasn't moved from the town she was born in. She has the same friends and even the same boyfriend. Nothing has opened her eyes to what other cultures or even areas of the country are like. Nothing has challenged her beliefs or made her see that there are other ways to think beside the close-minded, small-town attitude she has always had. Meanwhile, I have moved to new -- increasingly larger and more diverse -- cities, been forced to make all new friends and changed jobs. Those are the things that will challenge you and change you. If you just stay in your comfort zone your whole life, nothing will ever challenge you to open your eyes to other ways of thinking and you will be trapped in the same rut.

The funny thing about this is that you don't know there are other ways of thinking that might challenge you and you don't know you're stuck in a rut, so you never desire change. So Julie (GILL) Richardson will never know what she's missing. Maybe that's fine for her, but it's not fine for me. I know Julie, and I'm pretty sure she was being condescending in her comment. But I don't care because I'm thrilled with all my changes. I think everyone needs to change. I really, really advocate people leaving their comfort zone. No one should be content to live in the same area their whole lives, keeping their same friends and never searching for what else might be out there. Who cares if you find that you like what you had better? You can always go back. There are things about the Midwest that I really miss, and someday, I may move back there, but right now, California is the place for me.

In fact, one of the reasons I hestitated to date Ross many moons ago is because he was a Texan who had never left his comfort zone. He didn't know what it was like to leave his friends behind. He didn't know what was out in the rest of the world. I was afraid that, like most Texans, he would be so happy with what he had that he would never want to leave. I knew I couldn't stay in Texas forever and I didn't want to begin something that would end in a messy breakup. I was thrilled when during one of our conversations before we began dating he said that he was open to the possibility of leaving Texas and had even applied for jobs outside the state. This was one of the conversations that moved us from a friendship to a relationship.

There are so many ways of thinking and so much to learn if you open yourself up to it. Because Texas was so similar to Kansas, I have learned more about people and myself in the time I have spent in California than I learned in three years in Texas. And I'm really excited about that, even if I haven't liked everything I learned.

Anyway, speaking of changes, I have decided to make a change with Muggsy as well. Muggsy will be coming off his medication as soon as the behaviorist gets back to me on how to do that. He had another episode, though only an hour, this weekend, and I just can't shake the feeling that it has to do with the medication. I'm currently consulting with a nationally-renowned behaviorist to decide what course of action should be taken next since I don't like the doctor I have. But I will be taking him off Paxil to see if any of his old behaviors resume and especially if these new behaviors vanish. The goods just aren't outweighing the bads for me. Of course, if the new behavior stays and the old behaviors start getting worse, I'll have a new doctor to consult about resuming medication. I just have to make sure that I'm not making it worse. So that's the biggest change in my life right now. Maybe next week, I will have another to report.

-- Rachel GREEN

The One With the Memories

When I was a freshman in college, e-mail was just becoming popular. I can remember thinking, "E-mail? Why wouldn't you just call someone on the phone?" It's so funny how much I use it now. But I remember not really wanting to set up an e-mail address because none of my friends back home would have one. However, I sat in the computer lab at KU and picked out an e-mail address: drivintroi, after my 1978 metallic blue Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme who I drove for seven years. I've never changed it because I will still get random e-mails from people I went to college with who I still like to hear from but don't hear from regularly. I still have my phone number listed because I want to be found if an old friend wants to find me.

However, last night, I discovered why this is a problem. I can be found by people I don't want to find me. Last night, in my e-mail, I had an e-mail from a Julie Richardson that was titled, "FHS Class of 1997." I was thinking to myself, "Please, please let this be one of those promotional e-mails from one of those sites that hook you up with your friends from high school." Nope. It was the e-mail I was dreading -- the let's plan our 10-year reunion e-mail. I moved to another coast in hopes these people would never find me. Unfortunately, I didn't change my e-mail.

The e-mail went on to say: Julie (GILL) Richardson and Jessica (CONRAD) Mathis are trying to gather addresses and phone numbers to plan our 10-year reunion next year. Yes, folks, we're married. We have kids. We stay home to take care of our kids and our lives are so fulfilled. E-mail and tell us how you are. Oh and are you in contact with anyone in the class? We need to get in touch with everyone.

Well, I responded to say that I don't talk to anyone in the class, so I can't be of much help. But I did pass along my contact information.

What can I say? I'm not 20 anymore. I don't hate any of those people. They were all very nice to me in high school. They didn't hate me or treat me bad. They just didn't understand me. And I didn't understand them. Some people are just born in the place that they belong. They live there their whole lives and enjoy it. In Arlington, if you're a female, that means marrying your high school sweetheart (if you aren't married by 21, you're an old maid), attending the nearby JuCo and working as a nurse or teacher until you have children, at which time you quit your job and stay home to raise them. It doesn't include getting an education or getting out into different places to learn what life is like in other parts of the country. It doesn't include learning about other cultures, learning more about issues that don't necessarily affect you or gaining your independence from your family. I guess you all know, that's not me. I thought everyone around me was small-minded. They couldn't accept people who were different, and I was. I liked sports, I don't want children, I wanted to learn about other races and cultures, I was a Democrat and I don't want to take my husband's last name. In fact, when I was 18, I didn't want to get married at all. I didn't want to stay home and do the laundry and raise kids and define myself by what my husband did. I left Reno County to go to college and I left the state for my first job. I wasn't born to live in that lifestyle my whole life.

When I first moved to Lawrence, I really resented those people and what they stood for. I couldn't understand how they couldn't want more for their lives. It wasn't until I was 20 and one of my closest friends said to me after her boyfriend finally proposed to her, "I was out with Brody feeding the cows tonight and I thought how happy I would be to do this every night for the rest of my life." At first I felt sorry for her. Then I realized, who am I to judge someone who has truly found happiness? Who am I to say that what she wants for her life is wrong? Why is my idea of happiness the right kind of happiness? It isn't. And then I realized, for women like Julie (GILL) Richardson, they have accomplished all their goals and reached their dreams, just like I have. Just because my dreams are drastically different doesn't mean we can't all be happy for each other.

Before I moved to California, I went back home to say good-bye to my family, and I went somewhere I hadn't been in five years -- the Abbyville Rodeo, the one social event put on by my hometown every year. Everyone goes. I hadn't gone because these were all people I have nothing in common with and no desire to see. But I felt I had grown up and wanted to see some of my old friends. I ran into Audri (FOSTER) Whateverhernewlastnameis, and she told me, "I'm so proud of you. I knew you were going to be the one to get out of here and do something great with your life. You've done everything you always said you would." And I said back, "I feel the same way about you." She did all the things she always wanted to do -- she became a nurse, married a cowboy and has two beautiful children. Just because her life would make me unhappy doesn't mean I can't be happy for her. My life would make her unhappy.

Anyway, this has been a long way of saying that I don't know if I'll go to my reunion. I don't hate any of those people or resent them for what happened to me in high school. It's not their fault I was unhappy and suicidal and couldn't wait to get away. They didn't cause it. We were just different. I don't want to go back and see that Michelle (SHELTON) Whateverhernewnameis is fat and has six kids. I don't want to gloat about all that I have. To them, I'm unsuccessful. I'm 26, unmarried and have no children. To me, they're unsuccessful. We don't have anything in common. But it might be good to see them for one night and see that they've all achieved their own version of happiness. It also might be terrible to go back and relive all those old feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness. But I have a year to decide. I guess I'll think about it again the next time I hear from Julie (GILL) Richardson.

The One with the Coldplay Concert

Chandler and I went to see Coldplay last night at Sandstone (I still can't call it Verizon Wireless Ampitheatre ... that name sucks). It was a pretty damn good show. The opening band was Rilo Kiley, and they were pretty good. A girl rocker, which is always cool, but I thought they had too much guitar. There were 4! And one of them was way too high-pitched!

Coldplay took forever to get setup, but it was worth it. They had this huge screen behind the band that played awesome digital images with each song. For the opening song, the screen was white with a huge digital clock running and all you could see was the band's silouettes. The lead singer was nuts, really good entertainer. Then during the encore, he ran all the way back to where we were (second level, first row ... sure is nice not to have to sit on the lawn anymore, eh?) and we ran over and were like 3 feet from him!!!!

Chandler really had a great time I think. We didn't get a shirt, but I think I'll order one online. The lines were nuts. And I probably annoyed the people behind us b/c I stood up the whole concert. Seriously, why would you buy a concert ticket to just sit there the whole time? I just cannot sit still when I listen to live music. Are you with me? I'm so jealous of Rachel and her Eagles tickets. That show will kick ass! But I do think we're going to drive down to Kirksville, MO and see CAKE. You know, it'll only be the fourth time we've seen them! ;)

I'm suffering today, but it was worth it. I have a cold. Rock on!

The One With the End of the Blowup-less Streak

Well, Muggsy's blowup-free September ended at 23 days today. It was just a weird day all around. In fact, it was so bad that I called the behaviorist. When I got home, everything seemed OK, but when I went to lie down because I'm coming down with something, Muggsy came bolting into the bedroom and laid ontop of me. He wouldn't leave. Chubbs and Fenway wouldn't go near him. It was so weird. After that, he wouldn't leave my side. He wouldn't even get six inches from me. I was doing laundry, and he was underfoot. I sat on the couch, and he sat beside me. I sat down at the computer, and he tried to climb on my lap. He sat in the bathroom for 10 minutes and tried to catch a fly. I put him in his crate and he cried to get out. It was very un-Muggsy-like behavior.

I called my boss and she told me to call the behaviorist. The behaviorist said that something probably happened to scare him today and just go on with life as if he were fine. She said not to be worried until it went on a couple of days. But of course I'm worried! My boss suggested that maybe someone tried to get in the house today or made a big noise outside. She also said that an earthquake might be coming since dogs tend to get freaky before an earthquake. At her advice, I took him to a drive-through for a special treat. We went to McDonalds and then I gave him a chicken sandwich at Peck Park. When we got back home, he seemed a little better. But then he got really freaked out by a fly in the living room. He just couldn't settle down, running from room to room, climbing on Ross. We killed the fly and put him in his crate with a bone. And so comes the blowup.

We noticed that he wasn't chewing on the bone, so we went to try to let him out of his crate. As soon as Ross got close, he started growling. A few minutes later, I tried, and he growled at me. But I didn't want to leave when he started growling because I don't want him to learn that aggression works. I waited and he kept going, progressing into a full-blown blowup. I'm letting him relax now before I try to let him out one more time. If I can't let him out now, he'll have to stay in there all night.

Oh and did I mention that when we were leaving to go to the drivethrough, four little boys were walking by on our sidewalk and started making noises at Muggsy. So he lunged and burned my hand with the leash, trying to hold him back.

But Ross has generously offered to stay home tomorrow and make sure he's OK since I have two deadlines in the morning. I hope to see improvement tomorrow.

The One With Day Four at Peck Park

Picture this -- I know you all can if you've seen the adorable picture I have in my house -- a 18-month old Muggsy with a two-month old Chubbs lying up against him, almost as if they're spooning. Flash forward three years -- and several bloody battles later -- and picture Muggsy lying next to Chubbs, both unreactive and ignoring the other. It was such a nice sight to see. It's been a good night, although Muggsy has started whining a lot lately, which I don't like.

I took Muggsy back to Peck Park tonight and despite a couple of early outbursts, he was pretty good. He calmed down in three minutes and I took him home after five minutes. I am a little worried because he gets anxious once I start driving again, and I don't want to ruin the session. The behaviorist didn't seem to worried about that, but I'd like it if he could remain calm while I'm driving. I was able to calm him a little tonight, which made me feel a little better about the situation.

I also got more good news. Several behaviorists lately have been posting their latest genetics related to aggression-type studies to all the dog training lists I belong to, and I have been trying to participate in some. One that I applied to wrote me back today to say that my dog is not aggressive enough to be included!!! Yea!! Not aggressive enough. Never thought I'd hear that. But the questions were about how often he aggressed against the people who live in the household. Me? Never. Ross? Maybe once every 2-3 months or so. Two years ago, those answers would have been a lot different, but we've come a long way. When I told my boss, she again reminded me that Muggsy isn't so bad. It just seems bad because behaviorists and people like that have been making me feel bad about it. She let me read a paragraph of her book about her aggressive dog that she had to put to sleep and it basically said that when she told people she was putting him down, no one questioned it. No one said, are you sure? Have you tried ... ? They just didn't say anything. She said that when it really needs to happen, everyone knows and no one will talk to you about fixing it anymore.

When I was testing Muggsy for thyroids and getting ready to go to the behaviorist, I broke down crying in the parking lot at the second location and confessed to my boss something I hadn't said to anyone. She now refers to it as "that thing you said to me in the parking lot" because she knows that it's something I keep inside and won't talk about. But I told her that I was afraid he would never get better and continue to get worse, like her dog had, and I'd have to put him down. I don't think I need to get into how devastating this thought is for me. It can literally depress me for days if I let it, which is why I never think or talk about it. When things like this happen, though, it gives me hope that I will never have to face that decision. She was very, very reassuring then, pointing out to me all of the wonderful things about Muggsy and explaining to me how badly her dog had spiraled. From time to time, she does little things like letting me see that paragraph from her book, which she says I can read once I am much farther down the road with Muggsy, to remind me that I'm not in a place where I have to worry about that thing I said to her in the parking lot.

Anyway, that's about all. My private lesson for tomorrow canceled, which sucks because I love hanging out with the 10-week-old Golden and her really awesome dog family, but it will save me some gas. I'm going to get caricatures of Fenway and Chubbs done after my morning class. I also have to go to the dentist. Yuck!

I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but the store I train at is donating its corporate location to 200 pets from Louisiana who still haven't found their owners. Since it's in my area, I volunteered to help whenever possible, walking dogs and just giving them general companionship. I'm on call to help with the airlift whenever the dogs are brought in, but I haven't been contacted yet. I'm going to run by there tomorrow if I can to see if they have been dropped off and I just haven't been contacted yet. I think it will be really hard to see all these malnutritioned dogs coming through, but I'm really excited about the chance to help. I wanted to go to Louisiana when it happened, but it just wasn't feasible for me. Now I can help. I'll let you know what the setup is like once I get over there. I really hope we can do right by those dogs.

If no one else has done it, I'm going to suggest setting up a web site where people can come look for their pets. I read the saddest story on the Internet today about these families that were going around to all the shelters looking for their pets because the rescue people wouldn't let them take their pets with them when they came around in the rescue boats. I think that's awful. I hope as many owners as possible can be reunited with their pets.

I know you all are going to think this is ridiculous, but I wouldn't leave my flooding house if my dogs couldn't come with me. I'd stay with them. I think the rest of you would do that for your children, and that's the way I feel about my dogs. I wouldn't be able to think about anything but what was happening to them.

Anyway, I'm glad I don't have to worry about that, and I certainly want to help as many people as I can. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

The One With Day Three at Peck Park

Well, here is your daily Muggsy update. I took him to Peck Park again today and there were even more people than before. How is a place that was so quiet on a Sunday afternoon so packed on a Wednesday evening??? That's no good. I guess I'm going to have to find a new place after he gets a little more acclimated to this one. Today, he took eight minutes to calm down after taking six on Monday. Not quite as good. He stayed at a pretty nervous level and we left after 12 minutes. He barked at someone who walked by the car but only once. I waited for him to calm down from that and left. I asked my boss to come along on one of my sessions, just to see if my timing is good. Next Saturday, another girl I work with is going to do T-Touch, which is doggie massage, with him. I volunteered to help her with a case study about aggressive dogs improving their handling skills through T-Touch. I started a long time ago with her, but she went through some life changes and hasn't worked on it in awhile. I'm not sure what she's going to have me do, but it should be interesting.

Despite the decrease in his exercise, he doesn't seem to have much extra energy, probably because of the medicene. He hasn't put on weight yet, though, and I've decreased his food and put him on the healthiest food I possibly can with some supplements. He and Chubbs play in the evening, which is a good sign. Chubbs isn't afraid to be around him anymore, though he is still a little hesitant. Dogs tend to be able to tell when something is wrong with another dog, so I take Chubbs and Fenway being more warm toward Muggsy as a positive. Maybe they can sense he's getting a little better. I get frustrated because I feel like the medicene is helping with the blowups but not his overall anxiety, which is what I would like to see fixed. But my boss said that even if his overall anxiety doesn't seem to be better, the lack of blowups and problems indicate that it is at a lower level.

On my way to the park tonight, I drove by a football practice and missed my old life for a second. It's weird how much my life is changed. But don't worry. I'll still be able to hang with the boys when it comes to talking sports. I'll never be totally out of touch.

The One With the Summer of '69

So I was driving home from dog class tonight, and this alternative radio station was playing like every song I'm embarrassed to have in my cd collection but love to sing along with just the same and guess what came on -- Summer of '69. It reminded me of the night Mon and I stayed up all night singing Bryan Adams songs at the top of our lungs until the teacher who lived upstairs came down and asked us to stop. :) I don't want to say that "those were the best days of my life" because I think every year I live is better than the last, but wasn't college fun???

Anyway, no working with Muggsy tonight because I took Fenway to dog class. She never goes out in the world by herself and it definitely showed. She was so nervous she couldn't do a sit. But the more she does this, the better she'll get. By the end of class, she was letting my boss and one of the girls who works at the store pet her. But I'm so tired of hearing, "Fenway? Like the park?" and having to explain that yes, we live in California but my boyfriend is a Red Sox fan. My dogs' names are so obscure that no one gets the references. No one says, "Muggsy? Like Muggsy Bogues, the former Charlotte Hornet?" or "Chubbs? Like the golf coach from Happy Gilmore?"

So that's it for tonight, besides reminding you to keep your fingers crossed on me getting the perfect job that I just applied for!! Good-night.

The One With Day Two at Peck Park

Well, today I caught a little of the greedy trainer syndrome. I tried to do too much too soon. Peck Park was packed tonight, but I parked as far from the action as I could. I wanted to stay in the same place so I could see if he was calming better. It was much better, actually. There was no pacing like Saturday when we arrived and the whining wasn't as bad. He calmed down in six minutes, an improvement from 12. On Saturday, I stayed two minutes after noticing the calm down, which I define as no whining and slower breathing, but I wanted to wait a little longer this time to see if I could get a down out of him. Nope. After five minutes, he had a meltdown, whining and panting, that lasted for 12 minutes. After he calmed down, I waited about 30 seconds and got the hell out of there. I was proud that a family parked next to us, and he didn't bark. He got rewarded profusely for that.

I still haven't worked with Muggsy that much on targeting, but tonight, I think we're going to practice muzzle and Door! because we haven't done that in awhile. Around December, I'm going to have to get his blood drawn again, so I don't want him to forget that important skill. He also needs some hard-core work on his recall. Chubbs needs work on heeling and down-stay, but I don't think I'm going to get to that for a couple of days. I'm going to start teaching Fenway some tricks, but I haven't gotten around to that either. Ugh. So many goals, so little time.

The One Where Everything Is Different in LA

For example, the grass is greenest in the winter and starts to die in the spring because of drought. People here complain that it's too hot when it's in the 80s and that it's too cold when it's in the 50s. And coming from living in the Midwest and the South, where admittedly I thought a lot of people sucked but they were pretty friendly in general, I can't believe how guarded and suspicious people are here. It amazes me how little people make eye contact with you or smile at you when they bump into in the grocery store or something. However, someone was nice to me this weekend, loaning me some money when stupid MasterCard was having problem with Shell gas stations.

The weirdest thing about LA to me, though, is the way that I have changed. This will be the first year that I know nothing about NFL football. I know a little about college football, but I'm not following it that closely either. Just a year ago, weekends were reserved for curling up on the couch and watching football all day, no matter what the game. Now, I have other priorities. I spend a lot of my weekends dog training, since that's when most people want to work with their dogs, and I also spend a lot of the weekends and evenings working with my own dogs. I rarely catch any television including sports. In fact, last year, I even missed a couple KU games to do dog training. It's a new me that I find very weird. I've always prided myself in being very sports-savvy. Anymore, I'm not sure I can keep up. I still love football and I was able to catch most of the Cowboys game this weekend (though I was exhausted and found myself snoozing during a very exciting fourth quarter -- see, a totally new me!). And I haven't completely abandoned my old interest. If I'm at home, I will try to catch some football on the weekends. I plan to watch most of the game tonight. But I also have to work with my dogs tonight, and I use the evenings and weekends to catch up on my reading. Isn't it weird how your interests and priorities change as you get older? If I could go back in time and tell my 13-year-old self with her Cowboys posters plastered all over her walls that I don't even have the NFL ticket because I'm content to see the Cowboys highlights on ESPN, she'd never believe me. (But she'd still be proud of me. :)

About training, though, I didn't have time to take Muggsy to Peck Park yesterday because I had training class (it was full!!!) and a couple of private lessons with my boss, but I did work with each of the dogs on some basic obedience in my home. I'm seeing definite improvements in all of them, not just Muggsy. I have three very smart and talented dogs. Muggsy hasn't had an attack in more than two weeks. To say I'm a proud mommy is an understatement. I guess those changes in my priorities are paying off, at least for my pups.

The One With Day One at Peck Park

Today, I took Muggsy to Peck Park, about a mile from our house. I stumbled upon it on accident, even though I knew it was there. I was originally going to Polliwog Park, but there were a lot of people, so I didn't think that was a good place to start. So while trying to get back to the main street and head back to an empty parking lot, I found this little park. There were some boys playing basketball at one end of the park, but Muggsy and I went to the other end and were fine.

We didn't get out of the car, just sat there. Muggsy's eyes were wide and there was a little drooling. He stopped pacing and sat for the first time after five minutes but only took a brief break. His whining and pacing lasted for about 12 minutes with occasional pauses when I would treat him. Once he had been quiet for two minutes without crying, I treated him again and we left. We were there for 14 minutes. I guess we'll see if he can improve at this location. I'll take him back tomorrow.

The One With Chubbs' Career Aspirations

Since I always talk about Muggsy, I thought I would mention one of Chubbs' recent triumphs. For those of you who have never watched Chubbs clumsily crash through the house chasing flies, you may not know that Chubbs has always aspired to be a fly-killer. That dream became a reality this week when Chubbs killed his first fly!! The fly was on the blinds and did not escape Chubbs' mouth. Today, while I was playing hookie from work, I found a dead fly lying on the bathroom floor. A result of Chubbs' new profession? I guess if I start to see fly carcasses everywhere I'll know he's developed a successful new profession for himself.

As for Muggsy, we tried desensitizing to the car today, but he barked at everyone who walked by. He did get calm after about six-seven minutes, sitting without heavy panting, but if someone would walk by, he'd regress. I guess what I should do is take him somewhere and sit in the car there. Maybe he would feel less protective if we weren't at our house. That's something I might try tomorrow. However, I'm getting cavities filled, so I might not feel up to training after that. It might have to wait until Sunday.

Muggsy is on his second day of double medication, and he seems a lot more sedate. I guess it's a good thing, but I feel like I'm killing his spirit. Anyway, we'll keep working and see what happens.

The One With the Training Plan

I had a hard time sleeping last night formulating the training plan I would like for Muggsy. Here are my thoughts so far:

• I work Tuesday and Thursday nights, and next week, I work almost every night, so I will have to do sessions in new places only 2-3 times a week and just work with him at home on basic obedience other days. I would like to strengthen his recall, teach him directionals and improve stay, down and stand. I'm also going to teach him targeting and some other tricks when I have time.
• The first step will be getting him comfortable in the car. I'm going to start that tomorrow, just sitting in the car with him, reading and treating for relaxing behavior.
• From there, I will try new places. I'm going to look up area parks and check out which ones have the fewest people. I think I'll start there. They suggested empty parking lots on weekends as well, but most of the places like that around us are shopping centers that are open on the weekend. However, I could take him to our work parking lot and work him out there or the industrial park near our house or our water recycling facility or school parking lots in the area. There are plenty of those.
• I want to work up to working him in our yard and the park in our neighborhood so I can get back to exercising him with walks.
• I also need to work with Chubbs some because my boss wants to use him in class. Right now, I'm working with him on self-control, and I'm going to spend some time working on loose-leash walking and focus and well as down-stays. He does shake now really well, but he doesn't want to do down. Crazy kid.

OK, that's all I can think of for right now. I should probably get back to work. They aren't paying me to blog. Just suck up to Directors. :)

The One With Another Doctor's Appointment

Well, I had Muggsy's followup appointment with Dr. Boss today. Dr. Boneysocks is completely out of the picture. I did like Dr. Boss better. She was very dry and hard to read at first, but she did well interacting with Muggsy. She asked better questions, made better observations and came up with some training suggestions. I guess that makes my $900 slightly worth it. If I was the average dog owner, I don't think I would have been able to get a grasp on what she was saying, and I definitely wouldn't have warmed up to her. She said a lot of things that were frustrating for me to hear and didn't try to make me feel comfortable. She also tried to relay personal experiences to me that I didn't think fit my situation much. But I did learn, and that's what's important.

She gave me some new management suggestions for my home to keep Muggsy from lashing out at Ross. Right now, Ross predicts bad things for Muggsy. Ross comes into the bedroom and Muggsy has to quit cuddling with Mom to make room. Ross sits down and Muggsy has to get off the couch and move farther from Mom. Stuff like that. So if Muggsy gets to continue lying on the bed and cuddling with me, which I love, we have to set a schedule. For example, if I'm reading in bed with Muggsy and Ross knows he wants to come in and get ready for bed at 9, then I need to get Muggsy off the bed at 8:30, Ross needs to come in at 8:45 and play with Muggsy for a few minutes and give him treats while I leave the room. Then, Ross didn't get him off the bed and end his fun. Ross brings the fun.

Another one is getting him used to a more open muzzle that he can take treats through so if I have him at someone's house or a new situation that I'm unsure of, I can have a muzzle on him. A good example of when I might need this is when visiting a certain Godson that I don't want to lose his nose. I will also probably have to travel with his crate from now on so he has a safe place everywhere he goes. He needs that choice. Maybe I'll buy a travel crate and get him comfortable in that.

She also made some changes to my training plan. I can only train him when he's at his calmest level. So if walks in our neighborhood are stressing him out, we can't do that anymore. I need to start working him in quiet places where he has no baggage, which he has everywhere in our neighborhood. If he doesn't improve in those places within 3-4 times, I need to find a new place. The start to that is getting him to relax in the car by getting in the car and reading and cuddling and giving him treats so that he's comfortable in the car. The problem I see with this is that it cuts back on exercise for an already slightly overweight dog. I'm going to cut back on his food and make him work for his food to try to accomodate that. She also suggested putting the other dogs in their crates and playing with him in the house. I guess that means more "The Toys Strike Back" and recall games.

The other trainer who went with me because my boss couldn't go told me that she really admires my effort and said she thinks my hard work and management are second to none. I told her that it was good to hear, but that I just feel so far from the finish line that it's frustrating. I feel like I haven't made a dent, even though I know I have. There's just so much to do. And I feel bad that I let it get this far before I started treating him. I just feel frustrated. I guess that's normal.

I finished reading "Bringing Light to Shadow" about a trainer rehabilitating a person aggressive Border Collie. Instead of filling me with hope, it made me depressed. Muggsy will never be the dog that competes in agility or herding or goes to crowded auditoriums and works as a demo dog. She spent a year and a half and got this great dog. Why can't I make Muggsy better? But then, a couple days ago, I read a post from the trainer on one of my lists and she said Shadow had a regression that really shook her. Maybe she just suppressed the behavior and still has a reactive dog, just like I will always have. In a sick way, it made me feel good. My book about Muggsy, whenever I write it, will be much more honest. My boss told me not to read that book. I haven't told her yet, but she was right. :)

I don't want to change him. I love him for who he is. Last night, I took him to training class and a little girl asked if she could pet him. I said, "Thank you so much for asking, but he doesn't do well with kids. I'm sorry." He will never, ever be a dog where the answer to that question is "Sure, come on over." Even if he makes a miraculous turnaround, he's still him and there's that potential for an accident. Just like me. I work and work to contain my temper, especially at work, but every now and then, I'm going to have one of those days where everything gets piled on and the last thing gets a reaction. It happens a lot right now, but I'm hoping to get it to a point where it only happens for things that are really worth it. No matter what, though, it will always be there, festering in me, with potential to erupt. Muggsy is the same way. I will never put him in a situation where there is even a slim chance that he will blow up. That's just who he is, and I'm OK with that. I just want him to be the best Hims he can possibly be.

That being said, he did very well today. He was so calm that I ran my hand down his back and there was no shedding. I can't tell you the last time that happened. He interacted with the behaviorist, sitting and downing for her, and he was comfortable sitting next to the other trainer. He has developed a new behavior of whining in these situations, but the doctor thinks that's improvement, probably from the medication. This is the first time I really saw a difference. He calmed down quickly and though he was still alert, he was not panicked. Thus, she decided to up the dosage. She also said she thought he would be on it awhile. I don't really like that, but if it's what he needs, I guess I'll learn to accept it. This is about him and what's best for him, not my personal feelings on medication as a crutch.

She also wants me to take detailed notes on each of my sessions with Muggsy, so I will probably be using this blog for that as well. So this session went much better. I got some ideas and plan to get started training again. It's a long road, but I need to get back at it. I'm going to make up a plan and scout out some locations this weekend. Maybe I'll do that this Saturday while Ross is watching the Texas-Ohio State game. Something tells me I'm not going to want to be around for that!! I wish I was a full-time dog trainer, but I will make time for all my activities. That's what Type A personalities do best. And good moms. I will do the best I can to help Muggsy progress in his training. I plan to stick with this new doctor for a little while because I think she has good ideas. So does the other trainer who went with me today. It's nice to have such a great support.

Before I left the doctor's office, the other trainer who went with me said, "He's a cool dog. I like him a lot." And I thought to myself, "Me, too!!"

The One Where a House Is Just a House

I was thinking this weekend about how devastating it must be to be in New Orleans right now and how upset I would be if I lost my home. Then it hit me that I really wouldn't be upset. I can't pretend that I would. Of course it would be devastating from the standpoint that you had nothing and no money to refill the new home that you moved into, but I've never really been into material things. I can buy new furniture. I can get new clothes (even though I hate shopping !!!). As long as Ross and the kids were OK, I can't really think of anything I would lose that would really hurt me. If I lost my computer, I would lose all the things I've been writing and that would suck. If I lost my book collection, I would definitely be disappointed as I have so many books that I still want to read, and I've been building that collection for several years now. It would be sad to lose all the pictures of my college friends and of my pups when they were younger. But you would still have your memories, and that's what's really important anyway -- all of the valuable memories that you store inside you.

You always hear people talking about how sad they are that their parents are selling their childhood home or whatever, but I don't feel that way. Mon and I were talking about that last night -- how we'd never be so attached to an area that we'd keep rebuilding in a situation like they're facing in New Orleans. My parents are in the process of selling my childhood home, and it will probably belong to someone else the next time I finally get home. I couldn't care less. It's a house. All of the things I wanted to keep I took with me a long time ago. My room quit being my room when my mom took down all of my posters to make a living room for my brother. I felt like a visitor in that house from that point on because my brother made it clear that when I came home to visit I was intruding on his space. It's not my home anymore. I made my own home and that can be anywhere as long as Ross and my pups are there. The house doesn't make it a home. The area you live doesn't make it your home. The love inside makes the home. And as long as that survives, it doesn't matter how much of your stuff does. That's how I feel, at least.

The One With No Attacks

Just a quick note to let you all know that Muggsy has not has a blowup in nine days. On Friday, he was so nervous on his walk that he was drooling, and today, he was nervous on his walk, barely looking at me, but I think I have seen the effects of the medicene. He seems to be less reactive to outside noises, but I think part of that has been that everyone is out of town. Anyway, just wanted to let you all know that things are going well here.

The One With the Tragedy in New Orleans

I finally had to tear myself away from all the newswire reports on New Orleans because I'm getting too sad and angry. I really wish I could drive my car down there to help people get out. My car seats eight, after all. But I just can't afford to miss work since I'm going to need all my extra money to pay for gas. It's just around $3 here, but in the poorer neighborhoods, you can still get it for $2.80. I pulled into a gas station that I would never go at night, just to get the most out of my money. I drive an SUV now. It's getting pretty expensive.

But that's not the important thing. I wish I could do more to help the people in New Orleans. It doesn't seem like the government is doing that much to help. Well, maybe it is now, but it's too little too late. There are picture of dead people out on the lawns next to crying children. I made the mistake of reading the New Orleans blog and as of this morning, there are hospitals writing in, begging for help because they have no food and little water and are having to stack the dead bodies out on the balconies because of the stench to those who are still hanging on. There has to be something we can do. Our response to foreign crises is better than this.

The mayor of New Orleans is complaining because what they really need right now, more than money, is buses to get people out of the city. The government is sending school buses, and he's saying get all the greyhound buses you can round up down here. Why aren't we doing that? I'm sure the government has access to enough emergency response vehicles that we can get something better than school buses down there to help get people out of the filth and devastation. I hope that we are doing all we can. It would make me feel much better about our government. Then I wouldn't have to feel like all the Republicans care about is the upper-class white men that they rushed to save in Florida last year.

I was going to start a savings account this month. It's the first time in my life of paying off college debt that I've had a little extra after paying all my bills. But I donated it all to hurricane relief. There are people out there who need that money a lot more than I do right now. I was going to donate it all to Red Cross, but then Ross found this nation-wide animal rescue group that is down there trying to save all the animals, and I donated half of it to that. Hey, I am who I am. We need to get the animals out of there, too.

Then, I start to feel bad because I'm sitting here with my co-workers trying to decide between Tony Roma's and Soup Plantation for lunch, and I'm trying to decide what to do with my free time this weekend. I'm not even worried about gas prices because I live close to work and make pretty good money. I'd have to cut back in other areas, but I could still afford to work.

I just hope that people who are so far away from New Orleans that they aren't really affected by the storm can still feel enough empathy that they will contribute to this. I hope everyone will donate money or relief items or whatever they can to the cause. At the very least, I hope they will keep the people of New Orleans in their prayers and pray that the government will do everything they can to save the people who are still drowning in that city.