The One With Sophie's Choice

I have spent the last 24 hours trying to decide if I should send Chubbs to stay with his grandmother for a few weeks while Muggsy gets another blood draw and is experimented on in terms of medicene. Right now, as you all know, they can't be in the same room together because of the severity of the last attack. It's been very hard.

My boss thought I should do it because it would be less stressful for me, leaving me more energy to devote to Muggsy. She didn't seem to think it would be a problem to reintroduce them as long as I didn't make it too great for Muggsy to be King of the House again. However, Monica presented the good point that if Chubbs gets run out of the house because Muggsy is pissed, it's like Muggsy is winning. How will that help the attacks go away?

On one hand, I think that Muggsy feels crappy enough that if Chubbs is stressing him out, it might be best to just get him out of his hair. He's having health problems and everything else. Why contribute to the problem? On the other hand, Muggsy needs to learn that no matter what, Chubbs is a part of his life and he needs to learn to deal with his stress in ways other than attacking Chubbs.

I feel like I have to choose between my two children. Which do I love more?

In the end, the thought of sending away Chubbs is too much to handle. I love coming home and seeing Chubbs wagging his tail at me so hard that his butt shakes. I love having him sniff the sink when I'm brushing my teeth because he loves the smell of soap. I love it when he comes running at me full blast with the happy, I'm-going-to-get-a-treat look on his face. I even love how calmly he lies in his crate so Muggsy can get some time out in the living room. I take him with me to dog training, so his life isn't all bad.

It's not the best solution, but maybe Muggsy will respond well to the medicene and all will be fine again. Maybe I should start making Muggsy wear his muzzle more so that he understands that when he attacks Chubbs, he doesn't get his way but has to be punished a little. Plus, it's an awful lot of hassle to get Chubbs back and forth to Kansas. :) Plus, if Muggsy does have a hard time with the medicene, I can always send Chubbs to Grandma's then. But I'm going to give Muggsy a chance to work it out. I don't want to send Chubbs away permanently, so I don't want Muggsy to think that's an option.

Hope it all works out for the best.

The One With the Mentor

It's very rare that you find a friend that's willing to help you out whenever you need without expecting anything in return. And I have to say that without a friend in California, this Muggsy stuff would be really hard. It's already hard, but I'm a long way from all the people who care about me and making friends with all the fake people has been very hard. However, my dog training boss, who I can never come up with a clever Friends name for, has been that friend for me. She's almost like a mom away from home the way she always tries to help me and gets angry when someone hurts me.

The most recent example of this is my behaviorist who we call Dr. Boneysocks because she was wearing socks with bones on them during our appointment. She has been at a conference the last two weeks and nearly impossible to get a hold of. This while I have my hands full with a dog who is hungry for Chubbs blood. I have e-mailed her three times in the last week in desperation and have received no response. I have left messages with her secretary and received no response. I paid $450 for this and have gotten very little support. My boss actually said last night, "I hate these people," because of the way they are treating me. :)

Today, she told me to call them and tell them that I wanted the results of the blood panel faxed to me by tomorrow. (Does everyone remember how hard it is for me to be assertive? :) Don't think she doesn't know this, so she has called me twice this morning to make sure I did it.) I never got a response, so I called the actual clinic where the blood was taken. (She made me do this, too.) The wonderful woman who answers the phone there told me that they had faxed that information to Dr. Boneysocks and I could get it from her. I frankly told them that she wasn't returning my calls, nor was anyone in her office, and my dog was getting worse. They had just told me that I owed another $150 for the blood work, so I told them that since this was all coming out of my pocket, I wanted the results faxed directly to me. Now, I have no idea what any of the numbers mean, but guess who does ... that's right, my boss. Have I mentioned in the last 15 seconds how much she means to me?

The thyroid panel, which is the important one, hasn't been completed yet, but they told me that it would be done later this afternoon or tomorrow. I told them to fax that information directly to me. Right now, my boss is going over the blood panel that I just sent her and is going to get back to me on whether or not Muggsy can have medication. If he can, I might just set it up through the clinic where they drew the blood, even though I find it ridiculous that I paid $600 for no service. I'm supposed to have three months of unlimited e-mail and phone time.

But at least I have my boss.

The One With All the Management

We have crossed into a dangerous area. Yesterday, Muggsy attacked Chubbs and left a puncture wound on each of his front feet. Most dog experts say that once there is damage, changes for rehabilitation dramatically decrease. My boss still seems a little optimistic, but I'm not allowed to have Muggsy and Chubbs in the same room unless Muggsy is muzzled. This means someone is always in a crate or we're all in separate rooms. I don't think I have to explain to you all why this sucks.

I got up early this morning to take Muggsy for a walk since he will be confined to the smallest area during the day. I'm hoping to make this into a habit. Right now, I have him closed into the bedroom while Chubbs and Fenway have run of the house. I did this because I don't want to leave him crammed in his crate all day, but the air is in the living room, so I can't close the door. I plan to buy a baby gate tonight.

Basically, the attacks are escalating. My boss thinks that without medication, they will continue to get worse as Muggsy gets older. Since he's only 4, his attacks could start getting very dangerous for Chubbs. It's about 50-50 that medication will help at all, but I hope that it will be what Muggsy needs to get him back on the right track.

Just wanted to keep you all updated on what's going on, and Mon, what you'll be walking into this weekend when you arrive in "paradise."

The One Where Chubbs Is Three

That's right ... today is Chubbs' third birthday!! I got him three nice toys, a big bone and a special raw meat dinner. It can't be easy to be Chubbs, so I hope he has a special day.

The One With the Aftermath

Well, my Muggsy is not a happy camper. Taking the blood is over, but I guess the training never is. He didn't eat for three meals after the blood draw and he spent that whole evening lying alone in the bathroom, which he has never done. When I got home, he attacked Chubbs pretty viciously and growled at me from his crate. He spent the night in there. Yesterday, he finally ate dinner, but I was home the whole day worried about him and kept him in his crate for a lot of the afternoon when a bone. The act of chewing releases seratonin, which Muggsy needs more of to calm down. I also kept Chubbs in his crate when Muggsy was out. He was fine then last night, but I went home for lunch today, he tried to attack Chubbs for walking in his crate. I stopped it and put them both in their crates. I didn't close the door and they stayed in there the rest of the time I was home. Muggsy won't come out until he's ready to be friendly, so I guess that means I probably would have gotten snapped at had I gone over to say good-bye. I hope he settles down soon.

Tonight, I won't be going home after work to check on them because it's the first night of my birthday present. Ross gave me my present early because it involves several activities. The theme is my top five favorite bands, which I posted on a web blog awhile back. So we're going to a Tom Petty concert in August, an Eagles concert in October and the Pink Floyd laser light show tonight. He also got me the book that inspired "The Rain King" by the Counting Crows and a Janis Joplin Greatest Hits cd. Isn't he sweet?

One more thing to comment on before I wrap this up. The Cowboys announced that they are inducting Emmitt Smith, Michael Irvin and Troy Aikman into the Ring of Honor. Ahh, memories. I wish I could be there. Those guys were the reason I became a sports reporter. It was a game in 1992, a 30-3 win over the Giants at Texas Stadium, that I decided I wanted to move to Dallas to be a sports writer for the Dallas Morning News. I was an obsessed little kid. I can still remember crying after I touched Troy Aikman on the shoulder when I was 13. I was even a member of his fan club with my mowing money. I never really felt passionately about it after high school, but I still felt a little teary-eyed at the game when Emmitt broke the rushing record. Troy and Michael were already gone by the time I was a season ticket holder, but there was that feeling inside of me that I had accomplished everything I set out to accomplish, everything that I was told I could never do, and I just knew that the 12-year-old girl who sat in her room and cried because she never really felt like she belonged would have been really, really happy. And I was happy for her because I knew I had done everything that I vowed to her that I would.

The One With All the Blood

Let me set the scene for you. In a small, fenced-in parking lot packed with cars overlooking an alley, three vet techs -- a big white guy, a small Asian woman and medium-sized Hispanic guy -- meet two white women, one dressed as if she's ready for dog training, the other dressed as if ready for a day of sitting at her desk in corporate America, with a large Akita mix in a leather muzzle straight out of Silence of the Lambs. Since drawing blood isn't working in the vet clinic, here they are gathered in a parking lot. The goal is to get the Akita mix behind one of the back doors of the clinic with one woman holding the leash, one woman holding the leg and a vet tech drawing blood. If this sounds easy, I haven't described it correctly.

Yes, I was the one dressed for work. The things we will do for our children. Here I am, standing in a pile of mud with a sprinkler spraying directly on my left foot, which still hasn't dried, because no one else wants to stand right there. So I dive in because I don't want to waste time. My boss is behind the door, holding firmly to the leash so Muggsy can't break free, I'm ankle-deep in mud and the head vet tech of the clinic was trying to get blood. My goal was to hold Muggsy's back leg so tight that he couldn't buck. It worked. When he tried to buck, he fell and landed on his side (did I fail to mention that the error of this plan is that there are no walls on the other sides of back doors to block him). He was snarling, but I had a hold and the vet got the blood.

Yes, read: THE VET GOT THE BLOOD!!! Our team of vet techs and dog trainers were able to overpower a snarling Akita to get blood out of his damn leg. Yes, I know you're all wondering, I did cry. :) I was so happy and relieved. I still feel a little numb actually. We were so keyed in on getting it done quickly before Muggsy could get too freaked out and react that the appointment was at 9 and we were done by 9. Right now, Muggsy is hunkered down in his crate with a nasty, meaty bone that I bought him to reward him while keeping him from attacking Chubbs during his cool-down period. I'm going home in a half hour to let him out and spend lunch with them.

So what does this mean? Well, Muggsy will be tested for thyroid problems, which often lead to aggression in dogs. If he has a low thyroid, we will shut down his thyroid and he will be on medication for the rest of his life. We will also check his liver enzymes. If those are healthy, he will be put on Paxil for 3-6 months as we try to train him to calm down and accept new people, dogs and situations without so much fear. This is the necessary next step in training him, though I hate to admit it. I don't want to put him on medication, but he is in a constant state of stress and will need a little help getting over the hump.

This also means that Muggsy -- and this blog -- will get a small training vacation. He will get a few days to relax where I only train him on fun things, maybe targeting or maybe nothing at all, before he will start going on medication and begin his classical conditioning/desensitization program.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement. Now, I think I'll go pass out somewhere. I haven't slept in three days. :)

The One Where Muggsy Is Invisible

One step forward, two steps back. The story of my relationship with Muggsy can be summed up with that phrase. Today, we had our practice run at the vet and it was terrible. No one could touch him. He bucked and kicked behind the door and no one could practice with him. I was so defeated.

Tomorrow, the plan is this: We meet the vet techs in the parking lot and never go in. We use the back door of the clinic as our door, but he never sees the inside of the clinic. If he doesn't let us do it, we'll dope him up and do it again. We just need to get it done so I can stop feeling so defeated.

The One with all the Nothingness

Well, I don't have much going on, so I guess this is a FRIENDS/Seinfeld combo post. ;) I felt sick all weekend, so didn't have the energy to do much. Chandler and I did find four dining room chairs at an antique store that I love. So now the dining room contains 4 chairs ... no table, but at least I have chairs! They are really pretty, Italian ladder-back, wooden chairs with rush seats. I got a real good deal on them, so that was like the excitement of my week.

I finished a book that was very depressing, until the very end. I can't even remember what it's called now, but it followed a girl through her life, in which her dad leaves her and her mom, she gets raped at age 13, her mom dies, and all these tragic things lead to her getting very fat. Then she spends about 6 years in a mental institution. One interesting thing was watching her open up and learn to accept other people, and therefore, accept herself. The end was nice and happy, so that's good. That may be the worst book review you'll ever read.

Rachel, don't totally discount the OC job just yet, maybe it took some time to get the other candidates in for second interviews? But those questions definitely SUCK. I don't even think you could BS your way through those. I certainly couldn't! :) Good luck on the Redondo Beach job. That would be SWEET. Later dudes, Mon

The One with the Big Class

Good news on the dog training front. I just began my new round of classes and my first two classes had been a little discouraging. My Thursday class had only two and my Saturday class only one, which my boss said I could cancel but it was an older woman who had adopted a Lab from her kids because they weren't taking good care of it. An older woman with a 2-year-old Lab needs some extra training, and I wanted to help. I also offered some of the employees to come through the class so that maybe they will start selling it better. Anyway, then, today, my Sunday class had SEVEN dogs in it. I'm so excited.

I also had a private lesson today, another one with the cute Toto-Benji dog. It went really well and I think they are getting something out of the class. I have another private lesson tomorrow night with a 4-month old Austrailian shepard that needs to learn how to walk on a leash and get some obedience so it can do agility.

As for my own training project, Muggsy practiced with a strange person again tonight and did very well. He protests going behind the door at first, but once he gets behind the door, he's just been standing there very calmly. I hope that will continue Tuesday morning as we attempt to do the real blood draw. Then, we will be able to get him on medication and begin the classical conditiong process to try to calm him down.

We had a visitor today, one of Ross' friends, and Muggsy was pretty well behaved. I kept him on leash the whole time, but he only barked twice, once when he first got there and once he got up to go the bathroom. I didn't ever let them greet. I thought I would just let Muggsy know that he didn't have to greet everyone that came into our home. If he's not comfortable, he can just stay with me. Now, he's about to get a bath, so this will be a long day for Muggsy. :)

The One With More Practice

The vet appointment has been set and the practice will continue until then. Thursday night, we practiced with the floor manager at the store I teach at, and he did really well. He fought a little at first, but he calmed down and let the manager hold his foot for at least 30 seconds. I was really proud of him. I hope he will do well Tuesday. I think I'm going to practice with him tomorrow evening after my class and then Monday morning at the clinic.

I did have a wonderful experience Friday. A trainer who I have met only a couple times at seminars called to offer to help me. She does protection training with my boss and said that she had been hearing about all I was doing from my boss and was so impressed that she wanted to help me. She said that she really thought it was great how much I was doing for my dog, and I was doing things that most trainers never had to do. She's been a trainer several years and has never seen a dog so bad at the vet that she's had to teach the behind-the-door trick. I guess this is the start of what will hopefully be a successful dog training career. If I can train my own dogs, I can do anything. :)

The good news is that the trainer who trained me is coming into town Tuesday night, so I will be able to go out and relax and have a drink the night I get the blood drawn. I haven't seen her in a couple months so it will be great to catch up with her and find out what's going on.

I'm also looking for jobs again. I applied for three I think I would really like today. One is in Redondo Beach. How great would that be?!? I've decided that I think the job would have called me back already if they wanted me to come back for the third interview. They seemed in such a hurry to make the decision, so I can't imagine that they haven't called someone yet. If they haven't called me by the end of the week, I'll call them and make them reject me. If you go to a second interview, you deserve a phone call. But from Ross' experience, I know that it doesn't always happen out here. I'll continue to keep you all posted as I try to escape my evil boss, Joanna.

The One With the Vet Techs

Today, I went to the vet clinic to meet the vet techs that can supposedly handle my dogs -- a team of three, two men and a woman who is the head vet tech. I told them what I wanted and what I expected, and they were very receptive. They seem to feel that they can handle this task with a practice session Monday and the actual bloodwork on Tuesday.

Muggsy had his doubts. He was so scared that he was hiding behind me and he growled at one of the men. I told them to keep their distance and not try to pet him. They, of course, asked me if he had been abused before I got him, to which I always reply, "No, he just got dealt a bad hand genetically." They look like a tough and competant crew. I'm going to give them a shot.

I had my job interview yesterday. It was really difficult. They asked some ridiculously hard questions that I had a hard time answering. They interviewed two others and will narrow it down again this week for a third interview, this one with the GM. This is getting to be a really long process!! So keep sending me your good thoughts.

The One With the Door

Muggsy's Training Diary
July 12, 2005

I'm removing the Day from the titles of these. This could go on for a year or more, and I don't need to be writing, "Muggsy's Training Diary, Day 458."

Anyway, last night, I took Muggsy to dog class to practice Door! with Ross and my boss. It went surprisingly well. He bucked a little behind the door, but he settled for about 30 seconds while I held his leg and Ross stuck him with a fake needle. My boss was really worried about me because I was getting splotchy on my neck like I do when I'm really nervous, so she wanted to do it quickly. He did pretty well, so we continued it for a little while. She said he's ready to go, so let's just get him in there, even if we have to drug him up to do it. She said it was causing too much stress on me. I guess she's probably right. So I'm going to try to set up an appointment for next week.

He has been in such a bad mood that my boss feels, and I agree, that drugs are the next step. He needs to get over the hump, and he isn't going to do it with just training or he would have already. He has immensely improved, but we're stalled right now. I hope this will be what we need to get this back on track.

The One With the Breakdown

I might as well tell you all, as I'm killing time at work after 5 when I'm not allowed to leave but don't want to work, about the trials and tribulations of being an emotional mother of a "problem" child. As I was thinking about the joys Mon would have as a mother of an African baby, I couldn't help thinking of the hardships: how there will often seem to be more bad times than good when it really isn't worth it, though it always is.

This weekend I had one such time. Muggsy has been very grouchy and aggressive since his appointment, and I haven't really dealt with it. I've been telling myself that it's OK, that he is who he is. However, I'm not me if I don't admit that the situation is always going to be upsetting to me. I'm an emotional girl, what can I say?

Anyway, I started thinking about what Muggsy was like as a puppy. I told Robby this story about how I taught Muggsy to shake. I had no idea how to do it the right way, but I would just pick up his hand, shake it and give him a treat. In no time, literally a matter of minutes, he was offering the behavior. Every time he would get it right, I would get so excited and tell him what a good boy he was in my squeaky voice. He would get so excited that he would spin in a circle with his butt still on the ground. It was so cute. He would look up at me with such love, and he loved to learn and spend time with me.

I felt the same way. I spent every moment from the time I got home from work with him, playing with him and teaching him tricks. I guess that might be part of his problem -- too spoiled. :) I just felt about him the way I think a new mom would feel. I was in a relationship with someone who was always critical of me, I wasn't getting along that well with my family, who is always critical of me, and I needed that feeling of unconditional love. I took him everywhere and we got along so well.

Anyway, telling Robby this story made me so sad. I just started crying, and it went on for a good hour. Now I'm teaching him things that are for his own good, but they don't seem as fun. I don't see that "I love to learn and be with you" look that I got when he was a pup. I still see it sometimes -- that I love you and trust you and will do whatever you say look. But I just wish he could be happier and have that look a lot more often.

He's a treasure, and I will always do right by him, no matter what that takes. It's just a lot harder now than it used to be. And every now and then, me being me, I need to have a good cry.

The One With the Good, the Bad and the Ugly of Dog Training

The Good: I had my second-ever private lesson Sunday, and it went very well. It was this cute, black terrier mix, a cross between Toto and Benji, who was very well behaved and very sweet. The owner wanted to do a package of lessons just to get his dog basic manners, and all the things he wanted to do, I know how to teach!! It was really fun and exciting, which is why I wanted to be a dog trainer in the first place -- to play with pups all day. :) Plus, my boss says she's going to start giving me a lot more clients. I expect to be doing this full-time in a year or two.

The Bad: Muggsy was having a bad day yesterday. He attacked Chubbs, basically out of nowhere, and got put in his crate. We let him out after five minutes, but he just stayed in there. After a half hour, I went over to pet him and he growled at me. He would have started barking and lunging, but I just closed the crate and walked away. My boss said to give him a day off, so I did. I didn't even bathe him, which I really wanted to do.

The Ugly: We did practice Door! Saturday. No muzzle but extra leg restraint. He is able to allow me to hold his leg in position for 20 seconds now. The goal is 30 seconds. This week, we add in that third person. A couple of trainers have agreed to help me as has a friend at work. Guess we'll see what happens.


In Other News: I got a second interview!! It's this Wednesday at 3. I'll keep you all posted on what happens. Hopefully, by my 26th birthday, I'll be working at a new agency. Keep me in your thoughts.

The One With the Catchup

I know, I know, I've slacked off on blogging. I admit it. I've received some e-mails wanting to know how Muggsy's vet appointment and my job interview went Wednesday. I think anyone who cares already knows but here are some brief updates.

Muggsy: Muggsy was not able to get blood taken at the appointment, which was pretty much the point. The behaviorist said she usually does not recommend medication, but in this case, it seems we have done all we can do and need something to help us get over the hump. He'll be put on Paxil, and SSRI which increases seratonin production in the brain, something I should probably be on, too. :) But this is not until after he can get his blood taken, which will be after a few more weeks of practice. He did Door! well, but he could not calm down once the vet touched his leg with the needle. At one point, he freaked out so much that he broke free of his muzzle and collar. So here's an Akita running loose through the room with a vet trying to get the hell out of the way, me trying to grab him and my boss trying to get his collar on, but not wanting to get too close because he might bite. The good news is that he could have bitten and didn't. I was able to get the collar and even the muzzle back on without incident. But I now have to practice with three people: one holding the leash, one holding the leg and one sticking with the fake needle. It has to be as many different people as possible. Unfortunately, I don't know many people. I do have three volunteers and am looking for more. Training is not easy.

Job: It's hard to say. You really never know how a job interview goes. You can think everyone loved you and not get the job or you can think it didn't go well and get the job. I thought it went well. I was myself and answered all the questions honestly, except why do you want to leave your job. I made it sound like I loved the industry and just wanted to find a job in Orange County so I can move and cut back Ross' commute. If I'm what they're looking for, I guess I'll get a second interview. If not, I won't. I should hear about the second interview in a couple of weeks. The process is long at a public agency. It took six months to hire me at my current job!



Muggsy's Training Diary, Day 53
July 8, 2005

Training has changed a little. I haven't yet started the advanced Door! training, but I have started holding Muggsy's leg so he gets familiar with that feeling. I'm also teaching targeting, which was suggested by the behaviorist. This means that Muggsy will touch my hand on the command, "Touch." I move the hand around and he seeks it to touch. This gives him something active to do when he's anxious instead of just sit and look at me. The problem is that teaching it requires you getting the dog to offer the behavior. In our first session, I couldn't get Muggsy to offer the behavior more than once every few minutes. I'm going to have to find a tactic that works. I couldn't get Fenway to offer it either during her training.

The Nothing In Life Is Free program has been instituted. This means all dogs have to work for all attention. If they want to be petted, they have to sit, down, shake or some other behavior first. Before they get their food, they have to perform a behavior. Before playing, they have to offer a behavior. The hardest part is getting Ross to do it, too. But it helps establish a hierarchy where the dogs defer to the humans.

These training diaries will get a lot more interesting this weekend. I have taken a couple days off from training, but it will start to get interesting now. Stay tuned for many more training posts.

The One With the Hideout

This weekend, I hid out in the mountains to protect my reactive dog from the horrors of Fourth of July fireworks. I hate the Fourth of July. Not in an unpatrotic way because I love the freedoms granted to me by what the Fourth of July represents, but the idea of turning rednecks lose with fire and explosives in the name of patriotism stinks. Anyone who's ever run my house to my field with buckets full of water to put out a fire knows what I mean. It's even worse in the city. Magnify the stupidity by 6 million and the odds aren't good. I want no part in it. So I spent four days in a national forest where fireworks are illegal. I loved it. I never allow myself to relax, and this was a much needed vacation.

The mountain experience was definitely a weird one. My mom's family owns a cabin in the mountains in Colorado with a stream running behind it and nature trails surrounding it. There's a cabin next door, but you rarely see other people. In true Southern California style, Big Bear Mountain is nothing like that. The cabins are stacked on top of each other and it's more like visiting a resort town or something. It was very relaxing, but I never once saw a nature trail. If I had, it probably would have been loaded with dogs and kids and people, all of which I had no desire to encounter on my recluse-in-the-name-of-my-dog weekend.

We did visit a zoo with local wildlife (my guess the only place you can enjoy wildlife in Big Bear. :) It was the first time I had ever seen a grizzly bear. Though California has one on its state flag, there has not been a grizzly bear in the wild in California since the 1920s. Before the man-made lake was built in Big Bear, apparently, you could go to the valley and see dozens roaming around. The last was killed in 1906. By people, of course. We're evil, I tell you.

Now, I'm back to the stress of my every day life, and I wanted to remind everyone to keep Muggsy and I in your prayers and thoughts tomorrow as we have our long-dreaded vet appointment. I also have a job interview, so keep me in your thoughts then, too. By tomorrow afternoon, I should be sufficiently stressed and frazzled. If I can pull myself away from my couch and gallons of the ice cream I plan to stuff in my face, I will write about what happened.

As for the preparation...


Muggsy's Training Diary, Day 50
July 5, 2005

I'm starting with a nice round number, 50, to get me back on track with these entries. I haven't made an official one in awhile. I didn't do much training while in the mountains, just one very successful Door! session and several repetitions of sit, down, stay, stand, shake for about 20 minutes to distract Muggsy during the one fireworks show at the lake.

Today, I took Muggsy for his final vet prep appointment. He did Door! hesitantly with Ross handling his leg. He's clearly unhappy, but I think the trust between us is there. He was dying to leave, but I can understand that. I bolt for the door every time I finish an appointment with the gyno. I guess we'll see how tomorrow goes. I'm so glad my boss is going. It's going to make everything a whole lot easier.

When I got home, I had to put his flea medication on his back, which he hates. It's always a huge production of him running around, baring his teeth and growling at me. Today, when it was his turn, he walked over to me and turned his head. It was beautiful that he trusted me enough to let that happen, only an hour after a stressful vet visit. I almost cried. I hope everything tomorrow goes well so we can start working on making his life a little less stressful.

The One with the Adoption

Well, everyone will probably think I'm crazy, but here goes ... I want to adopt an African baby. I realize that most people who adopt are unable to have their own children for one reason or another ... single, infertile, gay, etc. As we all know, Chandler and I appear to be perfectly fertile. So to explain my need to adopt is difficult. It seems to me that there are these hundreds of thousands of beautiful babies in the world that need homes, and an equal number of people who want to provide a loving, nurturing environment. So why do people have this obsession with creating their own little people? Why not just love one of these motherless children? I guess I have no room to talk about this, since I have never wanted a child and not been able to have one (works the other way around over here folks). But it just seems a little vain to me, to HAVE to create a baby that has your own genes? Anyway, I didn't start this thing to piss a bunch of people off ... so we'll just move right along.

Another thing I am very interested in is transracial or transcultural families and adoptions. I suppose I just think: I'm already adding a totally new, non-blood-related person into the fam, so why not make it interesting? Why not learn more about another culture, why not make David blind to skin color by having a sibling from a different culture? Besides, there are tons of white families who have the money to adopt white babies. These are not the babies who have the most need.

So yesterday I hopped on the net for a little while and was checking out this site ... http://www.live8live.com/ ... about fighting poverty in Africa. If you watch the video about the toddlers in Africa living on the street (one little girl was two and couldn't walk yet b/c rats had chewed on her little toes), maybe you'll understand my new craving. No child should have to live that way. So maybe this is how I could make a difference. Just a change in one child's life, but it wouldn't be a little change, like sending $25 or a box of clothes. It would be monumental.

Of course, there are lots of obstacles, money being just one of them. But I'm going to work on understanding more about transcultural families, raising one adopted child and one non-adopted child together, what kind of support network both children would need, especially one transplanted from his culture and heritage, etc. (Not to mention that some members of both of our families would not be very open to this ides ...) Also for some reason taking on the needs of my own child was scary, but taking on the needs of someone else's seems much scarier. I'm not sure why that is. Anyway, just thought I'd share what was on my heart this weekend. (Geez, do I sound like Mon or what? ;)

The One With More Bad Press

Check out this video:

http://g.msn.com/0MN2ET7/2?http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7883488&&CM=EmailThis&CE=1


You can't find it now because the Senator this was about has blocked it. It took Gunther four days to find it again after he originally saw it. When this was in the American media, they made the British prime minister look bad. Very few saw this actual coverage where our Senator is criticized because it would have been 'unpatriotic.' Ridiculous. Gunther got his Ph.D. in foreign policy. He has some great information that I hope to share with all of you at some point.

The One With the Update

Yes, I was a little AWOL yesterday. Yesterday, I was really busy at work because I left early for a doctor's appointment. (Turns out my ear infection is because I clean my ears too much. What? Who's heard of that?) Then, I went to Mark's first event at her new job and spent the evening there, hanging out with her fiance. It was an amazing event. I'm so proud of her for how well she did, in just a month at her new job. And I love seeing her so happy. She's getting married this weekend and then we're going to hang out every now and then. Guess I finally have a couple friends in Cali.

So that's why no Muggsy update. He was at the doctor for 45 minutes and was very stressed, panting and drooling everywhere. But my boss said he was much better than she expected. He froze up doing Door! with my boss there, so we'll practice a little more at a strange place this weekend. I didn't do anything with him this morning because he's so stressed out. He attacked Chubbs again Wednesday, poor guy, and started to yesterday, but I stopped him just in time. Whew. It's just a lot of stress for him, and he doesn't handle stress well. I think he'll do well. The woman who works at the vet's office commended me because she thought most people would put down a dog like that. That made me feel good because I've always wondered if he'd have a better life with someone else. And she said the same thing my boss always says, "He's got such cute eyes. How can he be a killer?" That's exactly why I adopted him. Those eyes had me at hello. :)

I don't have much of an opinion on Wayne. I think it will be great for him to play with Shaq. I wish he was closer so I could catch some of his games, but I think Miami will be a good fit for him. It will be interesting to see how much he contributes in his first year. I thought the draft was great this year because most of the kids drafted were college kids. I think the NBA is making a good statement. And so is KU. Giddens would have remained a black mark on the program, and he needed to go. He's one of the last Roy recruits. Let's just let Bill build his team. Everyone has been saying how rocky this year will be, and yes, they will be young and inconsistent, but nothing -- and I mean NOTHING -- can compare to that feeling that we had in March where the team that you had such high hopes for completely shuts down and goes nowhere. This team has no expectations and will probably do fairly well. They'll get some experience, finish worse than usual, maybe make a second round exit from the tourney. But it won't be as bad as watching the team I had my eye on for four years make a first round exit in Syracuse at the hands of a team I can't name right now. So let's just hope for the best.

As my favorite Godson would say (I'm so proud), "Rock Chalk Jayhawk, KU!" (Btw, any Sooners and Longhorns who may read this blog, I'm so happy to see that KU has prevailed in the brainwashing battle. I hear that my David is now always asking to wear Jayhawk clothes and openly cheers for the Jayhawks. Good work, Mon.)